Monday, July 31, 2006

I Am Queen of the Verbal Double-Take

I offer the following as proof of my entitlement:

The phone rang this morning, and on the other end was Meghan, calling from the charter school I sent my resume to last week. Remember the one where I was sparked by word that there is an opening for a sign language instructor, but that I found out via an internet search that they're also looking for an English teacher? Well, we had a lovely chat, Meghan and I, about how excited they were to meet me and would I be available this week to come and sit down with the director of the school?

"Sure!" I said, "whenever you'd like."

"How's Thursday around ten?" she asked.

"Fine!" I said (though I now realize that it's NOT fine - I promised CT I'd do a guest-speaker thing about reading film in her summer class at the university, so I have to call Meghan back to reschedule). It was at this point that I realized that I had no idea which job they had in mind for me.

"By the way, Meghan," I said, "which position will I be interviewing for?"

Here comes the punchline...

"Well," she says, "we were thinking about trying to match you with the P.E. job."

(***What?! Sorry?!? Um, P.E.? As in "physical education"? As in GYM CLASS?!?***)

I managed to hold myself together remarkably well, given that this was, perhaps, the very LAST thing I expected dear Meghan to say. ME?! Teach P.E.?! HOW EVER did they get the impression that this might be something I could do?

So I asked Meghan, in as professional and composed a mannar as I could, why I was being considered for that particular position. She explained that they'd looked over my resume (though, obviously, not very closely, huh?!) and saw that I work for a health club. Fitness instructor must equal P.E. teacher in their world, and they thought I'd be a great match.

I made haste to point out that my Master's degree is in ENGLISH teaching, and that I'd really prefer to be considered for THAT job. A disoriented Meghan put me on hold for a minute to consult with someone, then came back and said "why don't we just keep your interview time, and you can work out with the school director which position you think would be the best fit."

Um. Yeah. Sure, okay, I guess.

So, now, I'm trying to figure a few things out.

One: what is it about my resume that makes people think "P.E."? Because, whatever it is? I need to fix it. FAST.

Two: what if I love the atmosphere and staff and philosphy over there, but they only offer me the gym job? My state certification is in "secondary education," which means I can teach from 5th through 12th grades - it doesn't say ANYTHING about WHAT I can teach (though I'm more than sure I wouldn't pass muster for "highly qualified" status as a gym teacher, even WITH my fitness certifications). Technically, then, I COULD be a gym teacher. Can you IMAGINE?!

"OKAY, kids! Today, we're going to run relay races. The object here is to get your team over the finish line first - BUT! - there's a catch! At each interval, there will be a bag. You must reach into the bag and pull out a slip of paper with a part of speech written on it. You cannot advance to your leg of the race until you can correctly define AND offer an example of the part of speech you've drawn. Ready?! Set?! GO!!"

Again, I say:

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Hope Springs Eternal


I'm applying to one more school.

There's a charter school in my town, and it seems they're looking for an sign language instructor. The ASL professor I work with at the university emailed me the other day to tell me that she'd heard of the position and has encouraged me to apply. While doing the prerequisite internet search on the place, though, I discovered that they're also fishing for an English teacher, so I've crafted my cover letter to ask that I be considered for both positions.

As always, I will keep you all posted as to the outcome!

**just as an aside: the common symbol for hope - crossed fingers - means the letter "R" in ASL...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Yep yep - Sesame Street Martians

A little bit of a nostalgia trip. I wonder if I can use Sesame Street to teach high schoolers?

Saturday, July 22, 2006

It's Official!

I'm now licensed to educate the youth of my state! My license came in the mail this morning. I'm legal until 2009. I wonder if I'll find a job by then...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Whatcha Readin'?

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to post here to keep my loyal readers (both of you) entertained when I've nothing of any teacherly interest to tell you. Then Kizz suggested that I fire off a "what's everyone reading?" post and see what happens.

I'm in the middle of Lost by Gregory Maguire, after having finished The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory, after having finished Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I loved, Loved, LOVED Outlander, though I wish I'd read The Other Boleyn Girl first (it paled in comparison, I'm sorry to say).I'm having a little trouble getting into the groove of Lost, though I'm very much enjoying the supernatural aspect to it. CT gifted me today with a copy of Theodore Rozsack's Memoirs of Elizabeth, which is the Frankenstein story told from Victor's bride's perspective. If it's anything like the dust jacket says, it should be a very interesting read. I'm still a little high off of reading Outlander, though, so I've got to get myself to a book store so I can get the next installment in the series.

What about YOU?!

Monday, July 10, 2006

CT's Adventures in the Hinterlands

CT is on holiday with her husband in Alaska. It was a spur-of-the-moment trip for them; CT's husband has a cousin there who offered lodging at his house and they decided that their need of a vacation overcame any objections they may have had about going to Alaska, so there they are.

I wrote her this morning asking for an update. I told her about what's been going on around here and asked her what she's been up to. Here's the reply I got:

Hi Mrs. Chili,
Got to go immediately. We are leaving to go bear viewing. I don't want to give you the details, but I'll leave it to the universe. Talk to you later today (I hope).


Lions and tigers and...oh, MY!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Into the Darkness

So, I know that Kizz and I have read Heart of Darkness, and that some of you were going to make a go of it. It's time for those annoying English-teacher questions I promised! Feel free to think about any (or all, or none) of them and respond as you will. This is not for credit and will not be graded - feel free to take chances in your thinking.

*Think about the narrative structure of the novel. WHO is really telling the story? How does the narrative structure influence the story or our feelings or reactions to it?

*There are five women mentioned in the novel. Can you identify them? What are they there for?

*What kind of man is Marlow? What leads you to that conclusion?

*Is there any significance to the fact that the story takes place almost entirely on boats? How does the concept of movement influence the course of the novel?

*Think for a while about the nature of imperialism. How does Heart of Darkness address the idea of imperialism, and what conclusions does the story lead us to?

*Choose a character and consider his (or her) place in the novel. What motivates your character? How is your character different as the novel closes?

**start thinking about what you might like to read next; I'm loving the blog-book club thing!**

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What Summer Reading Should Be...