A Teacher's Education

You're in the Wrong Room...

2006-12-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

You all know we've moved, right?

Go here from now on:

http://teacherseducation.wordpress.com

See you in the new room....

This Is NOT a Fire Drill

2006-12-06T07:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, Class. Everyone, grab your bookbags and your jacket, push your chairs back under your desks, and follow me. We're moving to a new classroom!

The one we're in now is kind of like a basement room with rusty pipes running along the ceiling and exposed insulation here and there. Sure, it works as a space, and we've had some fun here, but let's just say it's not been the ideal environment. We're moving upstairs, to a room with lots of light, pretty walls, and technology that works more consistently than what we've had here. I think we're going to like it much more.

Everybody ready? Good. Stay together, and keep quiet in the halls, please.

Reading List

2006-12-05T09:36:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I blog - one of the major reasons, actually - is so that I can share in the insight and experience of my readers. If I know nothing else, I know that I have a limited range of vision and experience and that I am better - a better wife, mother, friend, teacher, and all-around human being - for being able to learn from others. I really value the input that people give to me. I'm just not a go-it-alone kind of gal; I seek out cooperation and collaboration, and blogging is just one of the ways I do that.

Now, having said that, I'm putting out a call for help.

I'm thinking about my composition classes coming up in January, and one of the things I'm thinking is that I'm going to make them READ. I'm thinking that most of the material I give them will be short pieces - articles, essays, short stories, poems - though there may be one extended reading assignment in the mix somewhere. I want these to be on a really wide range of topics - as broad as I can get, actually - I don't want to limit it to writing about writing. Fiction and non-fiction. Historical accounts of events, letters, memoir. Poems. Hell, I will likely throw in some art, too, just to keep things fresh.

I'm pretty well-read. I've got a good range of reading experience, and a good bit of material stashed away in my bookshelves and teaching folders. What I'm looking to do here, though, is to broaden the scope of my thinking in terms of what my students should read for a writing class. Part of this is born out of a wish to expand my own reading experience - I've never had any problems teaching material I haven't worked with before - I really enjoy the process of learning it along with my students and am hoping to be able to bring some new literary experiences into my own practice as I teach these writing classes. The rest of it is an effort to learn from others' experiences as I go forward.

What I'm asking is this: what are your favorite pieces of writing? Short stories. Plays. Blog entries (yes, even those!). Poems. Articles. Speeches. Essays. Songs. Think about the writing that's moved or inspired you. Think about different styles of writing that you've struggled with or admired. Send me bits of your own writing that you feel you really nailed. Let my request swirl around in your brain for a little while, then come back to me in the comments with suggestions and ideas (and so much the better if you tell me WHY you suggest the pieces that you do).

In short, I want your help to compile a really kick-ass reading list. You're all part of my community, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you bring.

Like So Many Deer in the Headlights...

2006-12-04T14:13:00.000-05:00

My public speaking students got a real treat today in our guest speaker, and I'm relatively certain none of them knew what hit them.

Our guest - we'll call her K - was exactly what I thought she'd be. She was loud and brash and wonderful. She spoke about a wide range of things as she worked around her point about what it takes to become a good public speaker. She talked about how she creates her own speeches, what she's experienced in her role as an elected official, and how important being able to express one's ideas is in every day life. She quoted Plato. She read a speech she delivered to the State Senate about the dangers of MBTE in gasoline. She sang.

Yes, that's right; she SANG. Not ONLY did she sing, she sang a song about sludge. She revealed to us that the sludge song is not the only one she's got in her repertoire, either. She's got songs about nearly every issue she ever supported or opposed during her tenures as Representative and Senator. It was glorious.

I think it was the singing, more than anything else, that stunned my students into glassy-eyed amazement.

I'm glad K sang, though. Though I've done my best to make this class as comfortable and, dare I say it? - fun - as I could, I think that a lot of students still dread the idea of having to speak to people they don't know. K showed an obvious love of what she does. She showed them that any subject can be fun - or, at least, spun a little bit for the purposes of lightening. She revealed that she had butterflies before she came to our class, and gave some insight into how she prepares for speeches that she gives. Most importantly, she wasn't perfect. She meandered a bit, she went off on tangents, she lost her way once or twice. She was exactly what I was hoping she'd be.

The students don't have to do any homework as a result of K's speech; I just wanted them to experience her and, God love her, she came through for me in all her funny, irreverant, loud glory. I sent them home early with the written portion of their exam and stern exhortations to really nail both the written and the practical portion of the final.

Here's hoping they come through!

The Final Exam

2006-12-03T12:11:00.000-05:00

I've decided to give my Public Speaking class a two-part final: a take-home, written portion, and a practical portion - a short speech to be delivered in class.

The practical portion, which I've already assigned them and I hope to God/dess they're actually working on right now, will be a five minute speech about something that they'll likely encounter over the course of their career. A culinary student might make a presenation aimed at convincing a company to cater their holiday party with the student's restaurant; a business student might talk about the benefits of downsizing the production in a factory. I'm very interested to see not only what they choose to speak about, but also how they choose to deliver the speech itself. I'm hoping that at least ONE of them uses visual aids.

I've asked some trusted friends and colleagues to act as a panel for the practical exam. I feel that the students have gotten comfortable speaking in front of their peers and want to shake them up a little bit by giving them some new faces to talk to. The point of the class, after all, was to teach them to speak effectively in public and/or business situations, and I can 100% guarantee that most of those occasions will include someone with whom the students are not on a first-name basis. I plan on giving my friends rubrics to mark as they watch the speeches, and will take their impressions of the students' work into consideration as I determine grades. I've hinted that I won't be the only one grading the students' practical exams, though I'm not sure many of them have been listening closely enough to have picked up on that. It will be interesting to see their faces when they come to class on Monday.

Here, for your enjoyment, is the written portion of their final. I limited it to five questions in the hope that they would be able to really nail the answers. Some of them need to knock my socks off to pass this class, and I want to give them every opportunity to do just that. I'll give the exam to them tomorrow, so they have the entire week to work on it. Wish them luck - some of 'em need it!

Effective Communication
Final Exam, Written Portion
Mrs. Chili
December, 2006

Answer each question completely and on a separate sheet of paper. Your responses must be typed and grammatically clean and are due by 1:00 p.m. on Monday, December 11th. Late work will not be accepted and will result in a zero grade.

1. The issue of insulting and abusive speech - especially slurs directed against people on the basis of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation - is extremely controversial. Do you believe society should punish such speech with criminal penalties? To what degree are colleges and universities justified in trying to discipline students who engage in such speech? Do you feel it is proper to place any boundaries on free expression in order to prohibit insulting and abusive speech? Why or why not?

2. Advertising is a form of public speaking. Choose an advertisement - either from the radio, television, or in print - and analyze it. Which demographics are the advertisers appealing to? What methods do they use to attract certain consumers? Do these tactics alienate other potential customers? In what ways do you feel the advertisement is effective? Please include a copy of a print ad., the transcript or a radio ad., or the transcript and description of a television ad.

3. Why must informative speakers be careful not to overestimate what the audience knows about the topic? What can a speaker do to make sure that his or her ideas don’t pass over the heads of the listeners?

4. What is the difference between an informative speech and a persuasive speech? Why is speaking to persuade more challenging than speaking to inform?

5. Divide a sheet of paper into two columns. Label one column “characteristics of an effective public speaker” and the other “characteristics of an ineffective public speaker.” List and briefly explain what you believe five characteristics of each to be. Oh the basis of that list, candidly evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses as a speaker. Identify where you’ve improved as a result of this course, and where you still feel you need practice.

More on Writing

2006-12-03T07:29:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned before that I have the (cough*GEEKY*cough) habit of collecting language. I make a point to copy down the words of others that speak to me - or, rather, that strike me like lightning, which is most often the case. Every once in a while, I'll go back to read something that I've written, and will be pleased to see a passage or turn of phrase that, had I not already written it myself, I'd add to my collection. It's those few perfectly crafted passages that keep me writing.

Here, I offer you the words of the great Nathaniel Hawthorne. I have a particular love for good 'ole Nate, mostly because I feel he had a deep and profound insight into what it means to be a New Englander; a Yankee in the truest sense of the word; a native (I love Sarah Orne Jewett for the same reason, but I'll save her for another post). This passage - one of my all-time favorite pieces of writing ever - is taken from The Custom-House, which serves, in most editions, as a preface to The Scarlet Letter. I'm going to give it to you without any editorializing - we can have a conversation about it, if you like, in the comments.

Cheers!

-Chili

Planted deep, in the town's earliest infancy and childhood, by these two earnest and energetic men, the race has ever since subsisted here; always, too, in respectability; never, so far as I have known, disgraced by a single unworthy member; but seldom or never, on the other hand, after the first two generations, performing any memorable deed, or so much as putting forward a claim to public notice. Gradually, they have sunk almost out of sight; as old houses, here and there about the streets, get covered half-way to the eaves by the accumulation of new soil. From father to son, for above a hundred years, they followed the sea; a grey-headed shipmaster, in each generation, retiring from the quarter-deck to the homestead, while a boy of fourteen took the hereditary place before the mast, confronting the salt spray and the gale which had blustered against his sire and grandsire. The boy, also in due time, passed from the forecastle to the cabin, spent a tempestuous manhood, and returned from his world-wanderings, to grow old, and die, and mingle his dust with the natal earth. This long connexion of a family with one spot, as its place of birth and burial, creates a kindred between the human being and the locality, quite independent of any charm in the scenery or moral circumstances that surround him. It is not love but instinct. The new inhabitant--who came himself from a foreign land, or whose father or grandfather came--has little claim to be called a Salemite; he has no conception of the oyster-like tenacity with which an old settler, over whom his third century is creeping, clings to the spot where his successive generations have been embedded. It is no matter that the place is joyless for him; that he is weary of the old wooden houses, the mud and dust, the dead level of site and sentiment, the chill east wind, and the chillest of social atmospheres;--all these, and whatever faults besides he may see or imagine, are nothing to the purpose. The spell survives, and just as powerfully as if the natal spot were an earthly paradise.

Bleeding on the Page

2006-12-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

As an undergrad, I had the opportunity to take several classes under an especially dynamic professor. This woman taught writing classes, and classes about teaching writing, and I've been thinking about her as I've looked forward to the composition courses I'll be leading starting in January.

I'm remembering one class in particular, early in the semester - maybe even the first class - where the professor walked in to the classroom reading aloud from an essay she had in her hands. I can't recall the author of the piece, but it ended with this quote:

Writing is not like opening a vein

She was trying to impress upon us, her new writing class, that the art of writing is one that does not come easily. It is hard-won; the result of hours, days, sometimes lifetimes of sweat, stress, struggle and effort. Drafts and revisions and the more-than-occasional failure is de rigeur for a writer, and we should expect nothing less than that archetypal, epic struggle for ourselves.

It was not a pretty picture, and I remember wondering if I'd made a mistake in signing up for the class.

Her intention, I think, was to give us a jump on being gentle with ourselves; to teach us to not expect greatness every time we sit in front of a blank piece of paper; to express that she didn't expect greatness from us in the work that we handed in for the class. She wanted us to understand, right off the bat, that this writing stuff is hard work.

I remember thinking, though, that I disagreed with the sentiment of the essay. Now, I'm not saying that I can just bleed on the page, or that everything I write qualifies as "greatness." I don't, and it doesn't. What I am saying, though, is that I don't see writing as an epic struggle between the writer and the word. I don't feel that it's necessary to suffer to be a writer - or an artist of any kind, really. I understand that a good many artists do suffer, mind you; I'm just saying I don't think it's required.

As I prepare to teach writing classes, I'm thinking about how to present (represent?) the act of writing - the process of creating art with the written word - to my students. I'm not certain I want to give them the expectation that it's going to be hard and that they're going to fail - if not the class, then certainly the attempt to create anything of value - despite their best efforts. Neither do I want to give them the impression that they should experience no difficulty at all, that they can just channel some great muse and not do any real work.

I don't approach writing the way a lot of my professors or peers do. I'm not the kind of writer who writes draft after draft, editing and revising and rearranging. I do most of my preliminary work in my head: I think - really think - about a piece for a long time before I ever sit to write it out. I test out the language before I write it down, talking to my friends and loved ones, talking to myself in the car or the shower, trying to put the ideas in order in my head before I let them out into the world. By the time I get a piece to paper, then, it is mostly complete; I never wrote a "first draft" unless it was required by my teachers - all my first draft work took place in my brain.

That's just how *I* write, though, and I recognize that there are as many approaches to the work of writing as there are people who write. I think that a major focus of my classes is going to be to encourage students to figure out what works best for them; to allow them to try on different ways of being a writer to see which fits and feels best. Sometimes, understanding the process is just as important as the end result.

Class Participation...Sort Of....

2006-12-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

Claudia posted this comment to the post just before this one:

While reading some pieces on the decline of Western civilizations, I came across a GREAT phrase:
WORDS ARE THE CURRENCY OF THOUGHTS
(just thought I'd share!)

This got me thinking (a dangerous proposition, I know): given that I've already told you that I collect language, I'm wondering who else has great quotes about words or writing or communication or language that they'd be willing to share. I'm thinking in terms of using them as prompts for the composition classes, and for adding to my own personal (cough*geeky!*cough) collection.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Comp. 101

2006-12-01T10:32:00.000-05:00

So, as of right now (everything is subject to change at TCC), I'm scheduled to teach three composition courses. Two are face-to-face classes - "chalk and talk," my boss calls them - and one is a hybrid, which meets face-to-face once a week and "online" once a week.

This is semi-uncharted territory for me. I've been on the other side of the desk plenty of times and have written, literally, file boxes worth of essays, research papers, poetry, and literary criticism. Most of my experience in composition has been as a student. I co-taught an AP Language and Composition course as an intern but, by the time I got to them, the students were focusing on the definitions for rhetorical terms and studying for the exam so there wasn't a whole lot of "composition" going on.

My not having taught the discipline before doesn't concern me too much, though, because I've been in the shadows of some masters and have been paying attention. I've had some fine, fine writing teachers in my past - and count one as a friend in my present - and Organic Mama spent a good bit of her professional life as an editor, so I've got plenty of support should I need it. (oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to need it!) I've been rolling around the idea of teaching writing in my head for the last week and am coming up with some pretty good ideas for keeping the class moving forward as we move through the term:

**There's a poster somewhere (though exactly where, I can't say because I can't find the damned thing now that I need it) that says:

"Ten ways to become a better writer:
1. write 2. write 3. write 4....
(you get the idea. There's also one for reading, too, but I can't find that one, either, or I'd post it)

I'm trying to decide if it's within reason to assign my writing students a "piece" a day, much like NaBloPoMo. If I decide that it IS within reason, I've got to figure out the logistics of such a thing.

**I'm seriously drawn to the idea of using blogging as a tool in the classroom. There's a certain bit of casualness to blogging that, I think, takes a lot of the pressure off of a writer. It's okay to write about stubbing one's toe or about the television show one watched last night on a blog, whereas, I think, there's a certain amount of stress a student feels to pick a "good" topic about which to write for a class. If I understand the objectives of the course correctly, the point is to write, not to write for a specific purpose. I'm thinking that blogging will be a useful environment for that kind of work. Again, I've got to figure out logistics.

**I've been remembering some of the more memorable writing teachers I've had and trying to recall the exercises they gave me, as a student, that helped forward my strength and comfort with the written word. My Freshman English teacher - then a graduate student herself - loved to give us quick, short assignments where we would be expected to respond to a quote or describe an experience or an object or a place. One professor, in particular, was all about responding to short stories or poems. I liked those assignments because they exposed me to a wide variety of writing styles, and I found myself growing more and more comfortable finding and refining my own voice. I still have many of those assignments in the aforementioned file boxes - I may go up and dig them out of the attic for the purposes of memory-refreshing.

**The woman who supervised the second half of my internship is a phenomenal writing teacher, and I still, to this day, remember some of the assignments she gave me when I was a sophomore in her class at the high school. I learned from her as her intern (or, rather, I re-learned what she taught me when I was a teenager but wasn't paying that much attention) to give the students short prompts and ask them to see where their writing goes without too much interference from themselves. "JUST WRITE," she says, "don't THINK too much; just see where your writing takes you." The students, incredulous at first (all teachers EVER ask us to DO is THINK! She wants us to NOT think?!), quickly discover that they start off writing about one thing - the flowers in the basket on a table in a short story, for example - and end up writing about something VERY different - the time they went to visit their elderly grandmother in the nursing home, and how her room smelled too strongly of rosewater. That is fascinating and important work for writers - to come to what they're really writing about - and it's gratifying to see them edit their own work to hone in on their subject and craft a masterpiece.

**I want my writing students to read, like the graphic above says, a lot and all the time. Seeing how other people use language - how words come together for that one sparkling sentence that just blows your socks off - is inspirational. I have a TON of material for them to read; it's just a matter of deciding which stories, poems, speeches, blog entries and essays to use.

So, that's my thinking thus far. My biggest concerns, like I said, are figuring out ways to make teaching three composition courses logistically feasible. I'm hoping it doesn't take me too long to settle into a rhythm, and that I'll have some fantastic stories to share with you all here.

Plus One

2006-11-30T14:55:00.000-05:00

Joe, my boss at Tiny Community College, called this afternoon and left a message on my machine.

He's caught in the throes of trying to figure out next term's schedule, and he warned me earlier this week, when he gave me the schedule for the two classes that he wanted me to take, that nothing's settled yet. I mentioned before that it takes him a while to work up to full speed, and that I always assume the worst when he wants to speak to me. I'm still not sure why I do it, but I can tell you for sure that I still do - the first few seconds of his voice message went like this:

"Hi, Chili, it's Joe. I need you to call me back, I've got some problems with your schedule."

"Damn!" I thought, "there goes at least one of my classes, if not both of them..." He saved me, though, with his next sentence:

"I might need you to take on at least one other class. Call me back when you get this. Bye"

I'm now the instructor or record (at least, tentatively) for three composition courses; two standard classes that meet face-to-face twice a week (Joe calls them "chalk and talks") and one hybrid course that meets once a week in a classroom and does the rest of the credit hours online.

I was hoping to not have any online courses. I'm not entirely comfortable with online delivery and I find that it's harder to keep students focused when they don't have a set time to meet and attend to the work for a class. Still, having experience teaching online courses can only be a good thing, given the current trend in that direction in higher education. I'm working on some ideas for an online class - one that may use blogging as a tool for learning to write - and I'm open to any suggestions you may have.

I'm going to have a LOT of reading to do next term!

Grammar Wednesday, Week Two!

2006-11-29T07:05:00.000-05:00

Affect and effect seem to be problem words for a lot of my readers, so that will be the subject of the second Grammar Wednesday!

Affect* is a verb, and can have a couple of different meanings. The least common use of the two meanings is “to pretend or assume (as in, “take on”).

“I affect a terrible British accent, but my friend can swear like a drunken Scot.”

“Nervous before every board meeting, Shondra affects a calm she does not feel.”

The second, most common use of the verb is “to influence, act on, or produce an effect.:”

“The loss of the homecoming game affected the team’s morale so badly that they never won another game that year.”

“My hope is that my election to the committee will affect some change in how that body is run.”

Effect** is almost always used as a noun meaning “a consequence or result” and is used with an article:

”The effect of the sale is that the company will have to lay off 20% of its work force.”

“My joke at the funeral did not have the effect I was hoping for.”

As Kizz pointed out in one of the comments for the last Grammar Wednesday, a lot of these questions boil down to elocution. In this case, though, a little mumbling can be your friend: it’s hard to tell the difference between “affect” and “effect” when speaking. When you’re writing, though, choose the right word by trying to replace the word with whatever tense of “influence” you need. If “influence” works, use “affect.” If "result" works, use effect. For example:

“The loss of the homecoming game influenced the team’s moral...” works (but result doesn't)

“My joke at the funeral did not have the influence I wanted.” doesn’t. (but "result" does)

You can also figure out if you’re using the right word by putting “an” or “the” in front of the word in question. Effect takes an article; affect does not.

Still confused?

Affect / Action

Effect / Result

*Affect also has a noun form, but it used almost exclusively in psychological contexts (and, I'm fairly sure, some Shelley poetry) and, as such, most of us don’t bother to waste valuable brain cells in learning the meaning. If you have brain cells to spare, however, the definition of the noun form of affect is “a feeling or emotion.”

**Effect has a verb form, too; but, again, it’s not at all common. The definition, according to my Webster’s dictionary, is “to bring about, accomplish, or make happen” and the example they give me is “The change to automation was effected last spring.” In all my years studying English and writing for college, I’m not sure I’ve ever used effect as a verb.

"They LIKE Me! Right Now, They LIKE Me!"

2006-11-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else remember Sally Field's 1985 Oscar acceptance speech?

I remember her being ridiculed for it, but I've got to tell you here that I think I know how she felt. There is a rush to being accepted for the work that you do, for receiving acknowlegement that you do it well, and for feeling that others admire you for doing it.

I got a little bit of that positive reinforcement from TCC yesterday when my department head took me aside as I was leaving.

Of course, it took a while to get to the "positive" part. When he first asked to see me, I was bracing for bad news.

You need to understand that my boss is a strange little man. He's very, VERY supportive of the work that his staff does. He's fair and kind and honest. He may be the best boss I've ever had. What makes him strange, though, is that he often gives off very negative vibes when he first approaches people. Honestly - every time he's asked to speak to me, I've blazed through my memory to see if there's anything that I've done that could have landed me in his doghouse. Did I swear in a classroom? Did I wear something inappropriate to class? Did I fail to teach something that was on the syllabus? Is a student complaining about me?

Now, I recognize that this is my default position, and I'm working hard to overcome that, but he doesn't make it any easier by his tone or body language. Once in his office, though, the icy exterior melts and everything is just fine. It's always a relief to see that, and yesterday was no exception.

He'd called me up to let me know that TCC wants me back to teach next semester! WOO HOO!!

Though nothing's written in stone, he's set me up to teach two composition courses - there may be more classes on my schedule as he finishes assigning courses to instructors, and I told him that I'd be more than happy to take anything he needs me to fill. I'm particularly excited to be teaching comp. courses - I've been wanting to teach writing for a while now, and having a new discipline adds valuable experience to my resume. It's all good, all the way around.

I'm floating on a little cloud of "I love what I do and I'm SO grateful that I'm being given the opportunity to do it," and I wanted to share.

Required Reading

2006-11-27T09:55:00.000-05:00

I have a special place in my heart for Martin Luther King Jr.

He and I share a birthday and, even though he was assassinated before I was born, I've always felt close to the man. I've written here before that I have a particular interest in human struggles for equality and respect. Brother Martin is an embodiment of that concept for me, and I never tire of learning about the work that he did to bring about essential change in this country.

In my public speaking class last week, I found myself with time I wasn't expecting. Several of the students weren't prepared to give their speeches, so the time that I'd blocked off for student work was left empty. This time was not insignificant and I wasn't about to let the kids leave THAT early, despite their clamoring. I was certain that, as soon as the last kid left, my department head would poke his head in and wonder where the hell my class was. This is attention I don't want.

Being particularly good on my feet (read: I can wing it with pretty reliable success) and trying to fill that time, I though it might be useful to talk about rhetoric. The students have a working understanding of the term, but I'm not sure they really appreciate the nuances of the idea of the skillful use of language or of the power that a secure command of the language holds. I had thought to use MLK's Dream speech to draw the students into a discussion about rhythm and cadence, of word choice and order, of metaphor and the power of the well-written word. When I asked them if they could offer up an example of a rhetorical structure that Dr. King used in his most famous speech, I was met with nine pairs of glassy-eyes. Seriously - nine slack-jawed students who couldn't give me anything more substantial than "Uh, 'I have a dream'?"

SO! I'm making the (not-so-risky) assumption that the students who are supposed to be prepared to speak today aren't, and I've gone ahead and printed out the text to Dr. King's speech, along with some questions to get them thinking - and writing (good GOD, but they need writing practice!) about this essential bit of American rhetoric. This, for me, is the proverbial killing of two birds (possibly three) - the students need work in reading and writing, this gives them exposure to something that I think all students should be more than passingly familar with, and, since most of my students need opportunities to bring their grades up, it gives me something else to add to their average.

Hopefully, everybody wins.

The Writer's Life

2006-11-26T07:26:00.000-05:00

The other day, I was driving home from a shopping trip with Organic Mama, when we started talking about language. We’re English teachers, the two of us, and putting us in one place for longer than, oh, ten minutes usually results in some sort of conversation about language, so this, in itself, isn’t really newsworthy. I bring it up only to illustrate to you, Dear Readers, that language is something I think about quite often, It’s part of my everyday existence. I live it, think it, breathe it.

One of the things that I love to do is to collect language that inspires me. There are songs that I love just for a series of six or seven words in them that make me think that there’s much more under the surface of those words. I have a notebook next to my bed in which I put quotes from books I read that speak to me. These quotes don’t have to be anything earth-shattering; they don’t have to represent a truth or reveal the inner workings of the Great Spirit - though, most often, that’s exactly what they do - they just have to work. They have to embody more than just the words on the page. They need to be poetry in the truest sense of the word; a collection of language that transcends language and offers a glimpse into the endlessness of thought and knowledge and belief. It needs to be magic.

Am I making any sense?

Here is some of the language I’ve collected:

“Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible” (Expecting Adam by Martha Beck)

“The closer I’m bound in love to you, the closer I am to free” (“Power of Two,” Indigo Girls, Swamp Ophelia)
“I believe that cultivating compassion is one of the principal things that make our lives worthwhile” - His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“Eclipse of the moon when the dark bird flies, where is the child in his father’s eyes?” (“Soul Cages,” Sting, The Soul Cages)

“I have found a way...to wish ‘till things happen. The very atoms I’m made of come apart in a kind of sparkle. A cloud of sparkle propelled by will” (Ahab’s Wife, Sena Jeter Naslund)

“...is it just that the world unwraps itself to you, again and again, as soon as you are ready to see it anew?” (Wicked, Gregory Maguire)

“I know now what trouble can be, and why it follows me so easily” (“Shackled,” Vertical Horizon, Everything You Want)

There are many, many more, but I’ll stop here. I told you all of this so could tell you I found a bit of language worth collecting last Thursday over at Feather's place. She wrote:

Sometimes I'm homesick
-- physically homesick, bone-achingly --
for a place that I haven't found yet.

Just imagine what lies beneath the surface of those words.....

What Would You Do?

2006-11-25T16:27:00.000-05:00

So, I sent an email to my students about the assignment that's due for Monday. It went like this:

In order to get an A on this assignment, the following criteria must be met:

-you must have some sort of preliminary outline. It doesn't have to follow strict outline form, but it must give me a roadmap to how you put your speech together and what points you plan to research for the final product. Most of you have put the barest minimum of effort into your outlines thus far - do some work on this one, please. This part of the packet may be hand-written (but may NOT be on a napkin!)

-your speech must be at least (AT LEAST!) five to seven minutes long if read aloud. Do yourself a favor - read it to a friend and have them time you, because you KNOW I'll check. It must have a good, solid central idea, at least three supporting points and a clear conclusion. The writing must be clear and convincing college-level work. Avoid generalizations, broad statements, unsupported statements and words like "a lot" and "really." Oh, and it must be typed.

-you must hand in a comprehensive bibliography (also typed) with your speech. I don't care if you use APA or MLA citation style (if you don't know what I'm talking about, LOOK IT UP!!), but make sure whichever you use is complete and consistent. I'm looking for at least (AT LEAST!) three sources, and one of them MUST be from a print resource (ie, NOT a website - find a book or magazine or professional journal or government report or....).

-your entire packet - outline, speech and bibliography - must be grammatically clean. You must have proper punctuation and spelling, subject-verb agreement, and clear use of pronouns. Make sure your language is clear and correct, please. Remember, I'm an English teacher...

Yesterday, I got an electronic file from one of my favorite students. He has written a persuasive speech about spraying insecticide as a preventative for triple-e. His sister died of the disease last year, and it's pretty obvious that he feels very strongly about his argument for action.

The speech itself isn’t particularly persuasive; he relied a great deal on emotional appeal and righteous anger at the cavalier attitude of those who think that triple-e is not a significant threat. Neither is it especially well-written - there were more than a few grammatical errors and he’s got a bit of a ‘flow’ problem. It’s not a bad speech, mind you, but it’s not A quality work. If this were the only requirement of the assignment, I'd probably give him a strong B.

Here's my problem:

While the student did quote from various newspapers, he has submitted neither an outline nor a bibliography - two of the required elements for the assignment. The question that I posed in the title of this post is this: do I chase him down for these items, or do I simply dock the grade accordingly?

MPAA Rating

2006-11-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

Husband and I were settling in to watch a video the other night - Mission Impossible III, which I wanted to see for its own sake long before Tom Cruise opened his mouth and proved to the world what a moron he is - when the MPAA rating screen came up:

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of frenetic violence and menace,
disturbing images and some sensuality.

I'm not sure which stopped me first - the "frenetic violence" or the "menace." Husband actually stopped the DVD so we could make sure we were really reading the rating correctly - neither of us ever remembered having seen a movie described in quite that way.

What prompted me to write about this is that, five minutes ago, MeadMaker called me. We had talked about getting together to watch football on Sunday, and he was calling to confirm the plans.

"While I have you on the phone," he said, "do you know what 'frenetic' means?"

"Yeah," I said, "it means crazy-busy, lots-going-on-at-once kind of movement. Think 'ADD'."

"Yeah," he said, "I know what it means now - I had to look it up. I'm only asking because we were watching a movie the other day, and it came up as part of the little warning thingy they have about the rating."

We figured out in short order that we'd watched the same film, and that the rating description had stopped him short, too, but for different reasons. He wasn't sure he'd ever encountered the word "frenetic" before and figured that if he, being reasonably educated and well-read, didn't know what the word meant, he's betting that the better part of the American viewership of films wouldn't know it, either.

"Yeah, probably," I said, "but how many people do you think actually READ those things, anyway?

Reason Number 2

2006-11-23T08:29:00.000-05:00

I spent yesterday with Wayfarer and Sooza and their daughters. Sooza's parents live in my general area (read: the same area code), so they pack up the girls for Thanksgiving and Christmas and head up this way. On the third Wednesday of November, we meet at a commuter train station to take the train into the city. It's a lovely tradition we have of going somewhere -a museum, an aquarium, whatever - on the day before Thanksgiving. We also have a tradition of gathering at our place for breakfast on Boxing Day, but that's another post.

Anyway, we were on the train yesterday morning when Sooza said to me "OH! I wanted to tell you why you shouldn't get your Ph.D.!" Why I shouldn't? Really? Okay...

Her contention (and she's 100% right, I just know it) is that having my Ph.D. will close more doors than it opens. With a Ph.D., I'm put into a salary bracket that most schools (not all, certainly, but most) won't be prepared to pay, particularly if I'm looking at high schools or junior or community colleges.

I'm not sure that I do want to work in high school - the jury is still out on that - but I am pretty sure that I don't want to deal with the tenure-track professor crap. I kind of like working at TCC (and I'm putting my resume out to other smaller colleges in my area for the coming term), and my MA serves me just fine in that capacity.

I feel, though, like I'm not done learning yet. I may seek another Master's degree at some point in the not-too-distant future, but the idea of a Ph.D. is seeming less and less appealing.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Grammar Wednesday!!!

2006-11-22T07:59:00.000-05:00

This post marks the first Grammar Wednesday! Thank you to all of you who encouraged this idea - and thanks to Blue for coming up with it!

Today, we're going to clear up the question of then vs. than. SassieCassie mentioned it as a question she had, and I see it misused ALL the time in papers written for me by students, so here is an explanation of how to use the words correctly:

THAN is a conjunction used to compare things:

She is older than her sister.

"Uh, "Richard David Kimble, vascular surgeon..." what the hell is that?" "Somebody that makes more money than you."

THEN is an adverb that describes time and time relationships:

I've got to run to the grocery store, then hurry home before the kids get off the bus.

Put on your snowpants first, then pull on your boots.

Does that help?

The Just Don't Get It.....

2006-11-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

My public speaking class seems to be falling apart at the seams.

Yesterday’s class was a bit of a challenge. Of the thirteen students still taking the class, only eight showed up. Of those eight, only four were prepared to give the speech that was due for that class. One student got an extension because she, quite literally, had no voice. The rest of the unprepared students received zeros for the day. One young man had the nerve to kick up a fuss about this, but I directed him to the part in the syllabus that says “work is expected on the day it is due. Late work will not be accepted,” and he rather sheepishly backed down.

I find it interesting that, even as adults, students continue to push their instructors in these kinds of ways.

My! How Time Flies!!

2006-11-20T09:02:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here, organizing things for my public speaking class this morning, when I realized that, essentially, I have no classes left to teach.

Lemme 'splain. No, there is too much - lemme sum up (sorry - couldn't resist):

The course runs until December 11th (which is, coincidentally, Organic Mama's birthday). Anyway, there are four Mondays (including today) between now and December 11th. Today's class is scheduled to be a speech class - the students are supposed to have written a speech that includes the use of visual aids - so there will be precious little teaching on my part. Next Monday, th 27th, will either be a continuation of today's class, depending on how long today's speeches go, or the students will be delivering pursuasive speeches. On the 4th, I've got another guest speaker coming to class - I told you about her here - and I can't wait to see how the students react to her enormous personality. That brings us up to the 11th, which will be final exam / practical day, where I'm hoping to recruit a bunch of my friends and cohorts to act as an audience while the students deliver a short speech. They've gotten pretty comfortable talking in front of their classmates - I want to shake things up a bit and see how well they do in front of unfamiliar faces.

That's it! That's all we've got. No more lecture days, no time, really, to cover any new material.

Wowie!

I can't believe it. I feel like I still have so much to cover, though I recognize that I ALWAYS feel like that at the end of a class. I'm satisfied with the job I've done, though - we've kept up with the syllabus, the kids have gotten some good experience speaking in front of a group, they will have had some great guest speakers come to their class, and they have - at least, judging by their mid-term exam grades - a good grasp of the essential concepts of the class.

It's been a blast, and I'm hoping to get tapped to do it again next term.

A Short Week

2006-11-19T17:30:00.000-05:00

The girls have a two day school week coming up. I don't really remember ever having the day before Thanksgiving off before, but it makes perfect sense. SO many people travel for Thanksgiving that I guess the district just figured they'd give the day off rather than having a good percentage of the student body skip it anyway.

I'm SO looking forward to it. Five days of sleeping in! I don't have to drag the girls through morning routines so they can get to the bus on time - I get to be the mom who puts an extra blanket over the girls and says "snuggle back in and go back to sleep." Oh, bliss!

ACK! GASP!!!

2006-11-18T11:06:00.000-05:00

Pardon me while I choke to death over here!

I've been doing some research into getting my Ph.D. While I'm still not quite ready to take on the challenge yet, like a good doobie, I'm poking around, requesting catalogues, and looking at different options for programs.

Capella University was floated to me as a possibility. Organic Mama wants us to get our Ph.D.s together at this fully accredited, online university.

Yesterday morning, we were goofing around on the computer (when we SHOULD have been paying attention at a workshop about hybrid classes. For shame!) and found out just how much money a Ph.D. from Capella would cost.

I'm not over the shock yet.

If I'm looking at it correctly, we're talking about sixteen THOUSAND dollars a year, or thereabouts. SIXTEEN THOUSAND.

Holy Crap!

My beloved says that anyone who actually pays for their Ph.D. is doing something very wrong - that Ph.D.s should always be subsidized by an outside entity, whether that be a school, an employer, or a sponsoring organization.

So my question to you, Dear Readers, is this: Who do you think would be willing to pay for my Ph.D.? Because even if I were ready to start studying again, I sure as hell can't afford the asking price....

As If We Needed Outside Confirmation...

2006-11-17T19:11:00.000-05:00

As we close up "Grammar Week" here at A Teacher's Education, I leave you with this*:

Grammarphile

70 snob points (out of 100)

You have a mighty respect for the English language, and its tortuous misuse by the uneducated burns your soul. You can barely restrain yourself from grammatical vigilantism. You often find your friends pre-emptively apologizing for their language goofs, fearing your wrath, or at least merciless teasing.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on snobbery

Link: The Grammar Snob Test written by dbang

Check back for Grammar Wednesdays starting next week!

*found while searching for The Grammar Snob while I was goofing off at work.

More Grammar by Request!

2006-11-17T07:23:00.000-05:00

You, Dear Readers, are making Grammar Week very easy for me; I haven't had to think up a topic for two days! Thank you for that!

Today’s sticky grammar question comes to us by way of Feather over at Tatterdemallion. She writes:

Ooh! Oooh! Lay/lie? I've had this explained to me several times by a fabulous teacher, but I am unable to make it stick in my mind. I blame Bob Dylan. I think I've got it, but then I start humming "Lay Lady Lay" and I begin to second doubt myself.

This is a tough one for a lot of people, and Bob Dylan isn't helping at all.

“Lay” means “to place”. It is a transitive verb, which is just a technical way of saying that it needs a direct object - there’s always something that receives the action of laying (yeah, yeah - I know what you’re thinking - knock it off):

“I laid my keys down on the table, but now they’re gone!”

“Lay the book on the counter while you put the cream in your coffee.”

"She plans to lay out the best china for Thanksgiving dinner."

“Lie” is an intransitive verb that means “to recline.” It doesn’t have a direct object:

“I have a headache. I’m going to lie down to see if it will go away on its own.”

“The fault lies in not knowing how to effectively manage your time.”

"If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas."

The trick I use? Try to replace the verb form with whatever tense of “place” works in the context. In above:

“I placed my keys down on the table, but now they’re gone” works.

“I have a headache. I’m going to place down to see if it will go away on its own” doesn’t.

Get it?

Grammar By Request!!

2006-11-16T14:52:00.000-05:00

Derek, over at Eats Bugs (LOVE that blog title! Don't you?) asked that we clear up the whole feeling bad / feeling badly thing. He says:

My favorite grammatical conundrum comes from the word 'bad.' "I feel bad," as in emotions or health or sympathy; "I feel badly," as in my sense of touch is broken. Are either of these correct?

You've got it exactly right, Derek, and here's why:

The best way to figure out which form of the word "bad" to use is to figure out what, exactly, the word is modifying. In the sentence "I feel badly (about something - say, stepping on your toe)", for example, a lot of people think that badly is functioning as an adverb. It's got the "ly" ending, we're talking about how I feel, so it should be an adverb, right?

Well, no. As Derek correctly points out, we've got to clarify that we're not talking about the ability to feel but, rather, the quality of a sensibility. What we're really doing is modifying the actual feeling - the noun, the concept, the emotion - and not the act, or verb, of feeling. Adjectives modify nouns, so the correct form of the word is "bad." Saying that one feels badly is, as Derek illustrates above, saying that one's ability to feel is somehow impaired or broken, as in, "my uncle's stroke impairs his ability to feel. He feels badly and, as a result, burns himself a lot."

**author's note - while I love the graphic I've put up here, I'm annoyed that the second contraction isn't capitalized properly. I suspect that might be part of the joke, but I wanted you all to know - especially given the theme of this week's posts - that the error didn't sneak by me...

Since We're Already Halfway Through the Week...

2006-11-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

...let's just call this a "grammar theme" week and run with it, shall we?

Because it's Wednesday, and everyone likes a chuckle on hump-day, I thought I might regale you with my favorite grammar joke. Ready?

A new freshman is wandering around the campus of Harvard, and he's good and lost. He makes a decent stab at finding where he wants to be, but eventually breaks down and stops a student to ask directions.

"Excuse me? Can you tell me where the library's at?" the freshman asks.

The upperclassman looks haughtily at the freshman and snobbily replies "Here at Hah-vard, we do not end our sentences in prepositions."

The freshman squares his shoulders and says "Alright, then; where's the library at, ASSHOLE!"

Happy Wednesday!

-Mrs. Chili

While We're at It...

2006-11-14T07:21:00.000-05:00

...Let's clear up the whole adverb thing, too, shall we?

Adverbs are used to modify verbs. They describe, generally, how something is or is done. For example:

Robin paints very beautifully.

Very and beautifully are adverbs - "beautifully" modifies (describes) how Robin paints and "very" modifies beautifully.

Now, while it's not a hard-and-fast rule, most adverbs end in "ly." I'm astounded, and more than a little concerned, that there seem to be an awful lot of people who don't know that (or, being fair, it could just be that a lot of people simply don't care). I can't tell you how often I will be listening to something - the news, a t.v. show, people talking in the lobby of an office - and hear them drop the "ly" off the end of most of their adverbs:

"It all happened so quick, I didn't have time to react."

"I baked a cake last night, and it came out really nice."

"You did that perfect!"

It's particularly funny when Husband and I are together. We'll hear someone drop the "ly" off of an adverb, turn to teach other, and mouth "LEE!" It just makes us feel better because, you know, it's rude to correct the grammar of perfect strangers.

Now, lest you think I go around getting my jollies by making fun of other people's poor grammar - I don't. It makes me sad, more than anything else, to think that either they didn't get the attention they deserved in school or that they just don't care. We have a beautiful, complex language, and I'm concerned that, little by little, it's slipping out of the grasp of a lot of Americans.

Mini Lesson

2006-11-13T13:24:00.000-05:00

I spent most of yesterday watching football, and I’m appalled by the grammar of some people who make their living speaking on national television. Because of this, I’m inspired to offer up this little grammar mini-lesson. Let’s clarify this once and for all, shall we?

GOOD is an adjective used to describe a noun:

That was a good movie.

He is a good swimmer.

I had a good time on my vacation.

WELL is an adverb used to modify a verb, an adjective, or another adverb:

He kicks the ball very well.

You would do well to listen to the advice of your elders.

How are you today? I am well, thank you.

Now, of course there are other uses of both words. One can do trade in particular goods. One can go to a well and bring up some water for cooking. In the way the words are USUALLY used in common American English, though, the examples I've pointed out above are the way to go.

Over the course of the Patriots game yesterday, I heard “he threw that good” and “he kicked that field goal really good.”

I just can’t stand it.

How's This? Better?

2006-11-12T14:06:00.000-05:00

This is what I'm going to give the Public Speaking kids tomorrow. I'm looking for input here, Dear Readers. Tell me what you really think - and tell me in time to edit before I print out 20 of them for tomorrow morning...

Thanks!

-Mrs. Chili

Listening Worksheet - Mr. White’s Speech

Answer these questions as notes during the speech. You will be expected to develop at least three or four of these questions into a comprehensive essay due next Monday, November 20th. See me if you have any questions or concerns.

1. What is the topic of the speech?

2. What is the purpose of the speech?

3. What specific methods of gaining your attention does the speaker use in the introduction? List as many as you can notice.

4. Does the speaker preview the main points of the speech in the introduction?

5. How many main points were developed in the speech? List them and describe how the points were organized in the body of the speech.

6. What rhetorical structures did the speaker use? List words the speaker used that stand out to you. How did the speaker use language to make you think, feel, or believe something?

7. Pay attention to transitions. How does the speaker move from one point to another?

8. Describe the speaker’s demeanor and personality. Does the speaker have any tics or idiosyncrasies that stand out for you? Do these add or detract from your enjoyment / understanding of the speech?

9. What pattern of organization did the speaker use? Was the speech chronological? Did the speaker deliver the speech like a story?

10. What visual aids, if any, did the speaker use? How did they fit in with the speech and what effect did they have on you as a listener?

11. Did the speaker noticeably cater the speech to suit this audience? Were you aware of any techniques the speaker used to reach you as an individual audience member?

12. How did the speech end? Describe the conclusion, noticing any elements that stand out for you.

13 What is the residual message of this speech? Did the speaker succeed in fulfilling the purpose of the speech? What do you think the speaker hopes you will do, think, or believe as a result of having heard this speech?

Piled Higher and Deeper

2006-11-12T13:10:00.000-05:00

Somebody needs to stage an intervention because I’m seriously thinking about going for my Ph.D.

I’m not sure what it is that’s driving me toward this insanity. I just graduated with my Master’s in English teaching this past spring, and I remember all too well the hassle that was. Research. Reading (stuff I didn’t want to read). Writing (stuff I didn’t necessarily want to write). Making time for classes and study and don’t even get me started on all the checks I wrote to the university for the privilege of all that suffering.

Grad school was, for me, a lot like childbirth. It took a lot longer than I really wanted it to take. It hurt a lot more than I was expecting it would. There were a lot of hoops that needed to be jumped through, and not all of them made sense to me at the time (and a lot of them still don’t - I filled out papers at the hospital that I still don’t understand and I was required to do a lot for my degree that, to this day, I don’t think were the least bit relevant to what I understood I was doing). The overall impression of both processes is that they were both painful and very, very momentous. At the end of each, I ended up with something I desperately wanted, but I earned those things with time and sweat and effort and blood.

Not to mention patience. The people who love me (and not a few strangers who read my blogs) were saintly in their endurance of my bitching, whining, moaning and complaining about every little thing I went through. Sure, there were more than a few triumphs in the process, but most of it, it seems to me in hindsight, was just so much railing against the systems. My husband was wildly supportive, my children put up with a lot of my not being around, either because I was in classes or because I was doing homework. I asked a lot of the people who care about me while I was finishing my degree, and I think it might be asking too much to expect them to do it again so soon.

So, what the hell am I thinking?! Ph.D.?!? What on earth do I need THAT for? It’s not going to get me a better job. It’s not going to earn me more respect from my friends, family, peers, coworkers or students. It’s not going to make me a better person. So what is it that’s triggering that little voice in my head to spur me toward earning another degree?

Is it my tendency to overachieve? Is it a desire to ever improve myself? Is it just to prove that I can?

Whatever it is, somebody stop me, please.

It's the Math That Got Me...

2006-11-11T15:07:00.000-05:00

You paid attention during 97% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

Guest Speaking

2006-11-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

I have a guest speaker coming to class on Monday.

At least, I HOPE he's coming.

We emailed back and forth for a bit on Tuesday, but I haven't heard from him since then and he never let me know either what he plans to speak about or when he plans to arrive, so it's going to be an interesting class. I'm going to put together a lesson plan so I can have something to fall back on if he either doesn't show or isn't there when class starts.

I intended all along to have the students see real people speaking in public, but I couldn't convince them to go out into the world to find public speaking events. Even with the utter crush of political speaking going on in our area recently, a handout from me of the schedule for a lecture series at our local university, a bunch of culture-related opportunities at a nearby museum, and the suggestion to just go to a church or a synagogue, the students never made the effort to go out and listen to a speech. So, I'm bringing the speeches to them.

I'm looking forward to having this first guest in class. He's charming and personable. He's confident and approachable. He is super knowledgeable about his subject and delivers his information in a way that is accessible and intriguing at the same time. Every time I’ve heard him speak, I’ve come away both knowing more than I did before I got there and itching to come back to learn even more.

I’ve taken all your advice to heart, Dear Readers, and am putting together a worksheet for the students to have in front of them while they listen to the speech. (I’m also trying very hard to spill all my wordiness here and not in emails to the students.) I want them to listen for content, to be sure, but I’m more interested in how well they can pick out the techniques that the speaker uses. I want to see if they can pick out rhetorical structures and strategies - how does the speaker use language to get his or her point across and how does word choice affect what the audience thinks or feels about what’s being said? I want them to get to the point of the speech - not only the main thesis of the talk, but also the intention of it. Was the purpose of the speech informative or persuasive? Commemorative or storytelling? What was the speaker trying to say?

I’ve got another speaker lined up for December. This woman is a friend of my in-laws’, which is interesting because this woman is a rabid democrat where my in-laws, well, aren’t. Anyway, this lady is effusive and glorious and loud and funny. She reminds me of a cross between Maya Angelou and Jo Anne Worley. She’s agreed to come to the class to talk - I’m sure she’ll speak about women’s issues or the political process or her years as a state senator. I don’t really care, though - I just want my students to be in her presence for a while. She just radiates outward, and I’m hoping that some of them - particularly my more shy girls - will be inspired.

I’ve got to sit down and figure out what I still have to teach the kids before the semester ends. If I have time, I might try to find one other person to come and speak to the class before we tie it all up in the middle of December.

Any volunteers?

What a Piece of Work is Man...

2006-11-09T18:13:00.000-05:00

Wow.

No, really. Wow.

This show was AMAZING. It was also a lot bigger than I originally thought which was good because we attended the exhibit with a SHIT LOAD of high school students, many of whom were in possession of some extremely bad manners. But anyway...

I was fascinated by this exhibit on many different levels. For starters, it's just dumbfounding. To live inside your own skin is one thing - to feel what you feel and to know that there's more to you than just what you can see; to feel your heart beat and to breathe in and out and to stretch or to experience pain or to be still and quiet and just BE is one thing. To actually SEE what's under your skin is something else entirely.

I have always been intensely curious about what makes up my body. I always want to see my own x-rays and MRIs. While I may get a little woozy watching the initial incision, I am glued to the t.v. when watching programs or news segments about medical procedures - hip replacements and bypass surgery and the like (though I shy away from plastics procedures - not sure why, but they gross me out). I want to understand what all the results for my chem. panels mean and I ask my doctor to explain my cholesterol levels and how any medications they prescribe to me work. This exhibit satisfied that curiosity in a way that was at the same time immensely satisfying and insanely frustrating. I left knowing that I'd seen more than I'd ever seen before but still wanting to see MORE.

Being a fitness instructor, I have at least a passing familiarity with how we humans are put together. I understand, in very basic terms, how this muscle is connected to that bone, how this muscle works with / against that muscle to move us in particular ways, and how to effectively and safely challenge those muscles to do their best work and keep us as healthy as possible. This exhibit brought that knowledge a little bit closer to comprehensive in me - it was far more complete and understandable to see the muscles as they actually are - connected here and there, layered over these bones and these underlying muscles - than any drawing, however correct, could ever be.I was surprised by a lot of things. I had a lot of false impressions about the human frame. I thought that our femur was a lot thicker than it actually is, for example. I was under the impression that there were a lot more bones in the ankle than there actually are. I did not know that there are bands of something - I'm not sure what, though I expect it's cartilage - correct me if you know, please - that encircle our wrists and ankles to hold back bands of nerves. I thought our spinal cord was a lot thicker than it is. Seeing these things in 3D, unchanged from their original form but for their preservation, was enlightening.

We are AMAZING creatures. Bone and blood and muscle and nerve and fat and tendon and skin - I have to admit that it would be difficult to look at this exhibit and not believe that we were intelligently created. I believe in evolution, I truly do - I’m not an Adam and Eve kind of gal - but there's got to be a plan behind it. We had to start somewhere, and to get to where we are - a marvel of systems and balance and motion - is nothing short of miraculous.
I've heard that there's a lot of controversy around this exhibit. I haven’t read any of it, so I can’t comment intelligently about it one way or another, but I have to say here that I found nothing at all objectionable to the show. The bodies are donated willingly - no body was taken without its OWNER’S permission; I couldn’t donate my husband, for example, without his living consent, though I’m not sure how the children in the exhibit were obtained. There’s nothing lewd or unseemly about the bodies - they’re posed tastefully and in ways that really demonstrate the wonder of machinery that our bodies are (though the high school kids were all about the plasticized penises and labia). There’s no preachiness in the exhibit; though there were a fair number of smoker’s lungs and a display of what obesity does to the internal organs, neither of these elements was presented in anything other than a factual way. In short, it is (as far as my non-medically educated self could tell) a very well done, ethically responsible display.

The exhibit opens with a mural that explains that there’s no personal information about the donors - their names and causes of death are never mentioned - because it’s not about the people they used to be. Honestly, I never found myself thinking of the people these bodies used to be though, at the end, I did send up a silent prayer of thanksgiving to them for offering up their physical selves so that I could experience this unique opportunity to see under the surface.

My friend mentioned that she knows someone who is entirely opposed to this exhibit because she finds it morbid and somehow disrespectful to the donors. I’m not sure I could disagree more. For me, a person ceases to be a person when their heart stops beating and the spirit/body connection is broken. I’ve thought about this a lot - I think it’s interesting that we refer to our bodies as something we own - MY arm or MY head - rather than something we ARE. I am not my body. I can change my hair or lose my sight or amputate an arm or donate a kidney and I’d still be me. I remember thinking of a connection to a Star Trek series - Next Generation - where the Klingon on board informed crew mates to dispose of a fallen comrade’s body however they saw fit because, as he put it, “it is just an empty shell.” A very intricate, complex, and wondrous shell, but without the spirit, empty nonetheless.

If this exhibit ever comes within striking distance of you, I HIGHLY recommend you go see it, even if you’re faint-of-heart. It’s not icky, it’s not creepy, and it’s in no way gratuitous. You’ll learn a lot, and you’ll come away with a much greater appreciation for the bag of water and protein that houses your soul for this journey.

Going on a Field Trip

2006-11-09T07:31:00.000-05:00

I'm going on a field trip with a friend today. We're heading to the Museum of Science in Boston to see this:

I'll write about it when I get back tonight.

Stay with your chaperone and DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

-Mrs. Chili

A Cheer and a Nudge and a Push and a Shove...

2006-11-08T14:43:00.000-05:00

I had lunch today with an old and dear friend. I've known this man for more than 20 years now; he is very special to me and an important part of my everyday life.

This friend, though very smart, was never highly motivated. He never did much that required a whole lot of overt effort on his part - he never nurtured a skill or pursued a passion - and this is something about his personality that has always bothered me, even when we were younger. His characteristic attitude was a shrug and an offhanded, noncommittal "eh," and I always wanted more from him because he's so capable of more.

As we sat together over lunch this afternoon, he admitted to me that he's thinking about going to college. Just like that. He looked up from his salad and said, "I'm thinking about going to school."

I managed to not leap up from the table and dance for joy, though that was my first reaction. I could see from his demeanor that this is something that he's not quite made up his mind to do, and I didn't want to scare him off of it - jumping up and down while squealing like a girl would likely not be the kind of encouragement he was looking for from me. What I DID do was to congratulate him on this kind of thinking and to offer up any - ANY - assistance that I can render to make the process easier and less intimidating for him.

He is concerned - and rightly, I think - with the fact that he'll likely find himself in classes with people much younger than himself. Having gone to college as an adult, I can totally relate to the feelings that go along with that: even as an undergrad, I had a good ten years on most of my classmates - while they were nattering on about which party to go to that night, I was thinking about how to juggle homework with housework with real work. It can be a very alienating thing to be the only grown-up, aside from the professor, in the classroom, but there can also be great advantages to that. You're not worried about which party to go to - all that petty, insignificant stuff doesn't get in the way of your studies. You're likely far more organized and diciplined and, as a result, have an easier time meeting deadlines and fulfilling commitments. You bring a wealth of experience to the classroom, and your professors are going to LOVE you for that - at least, most of mine did - and, not lastly, you've got friends who've gone through this whole college thing before and can help you through the tricky bits.

I'm very, very excited for my friend, and I've offered to help him in any way that I can, from walking through the admissions process to proofreading papers to tutoring services. I'm hoping he takes me up on it...

In My Own Defense

2006-11-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

I'm not the only one who thinks this way....

"In my house, anyone who uses one word when they could have used ten just isn't trying hard. Let's keep at it."

Quoted from Season Three, Dead Irish Writers, of the West Wing.

This May Be More Than They Can Handle...

2006-11-07T09:18:00.000-05:00

I sent this note (letter) to my public speaking class last night. Do you think any of them will understand what I'm asking, or should I learn to be more concise....?

Dear Class: For this week's online portion of class, you need to do two things: First, read chapters 11 and 12 in your text and answer the study questions on Blackboard. Please put them in the digital drop box rather than emailing them to me - I won't be responsible for losing assignments that get sent to my personal email. If you still can't figure the digital drop box out, make an appointment with the IT people on the main campus and they'll help you. You all understand that not handing in homework is a double-whammy, right? You get a zero for the assignment AND you get marked as absent for that "class." Just making sure you're all aware....

The second part of the week's homework will involve your planning out the next speech. This will be delivered with the use of visual aids, so you need to choose a topic (please keep it college-appropriate) and work out a strategy for how best to include props, graphs and other visual elements into your speech. I would suggest reading chapter 13, which covers the use of visual aids in a speech (doing this will make next week's deliverable easier, too, since chapter 13 is next on the list of things to do). I'm going to ask you to do some sort of outline or preliminary sketch so that I can see where your planning is leading you. Please clearly map out, in which ever way you feel works best for you, your introduction, body and conclusion in a way that illustrates to me that you're giving it a lot of thought and are being as comprehensive as you can be. Let's put a bit more work into it than you gave me last time, shall we? Many of you either didn't do it at all or did such a quick job of it that it was a challenge for me to give you credit for the work.

Finally, we're having a guest speaker come to class on Monday. Tom White is the Educational Outreach Coordinator for Holocaust Studies at Not-So-Local University. Please be respectful and arrive to class on time - a little early might even be better.

While I want you to enjoy the topic of the speech, I'm particularly interested in how well you can discern the structure of Mr. White's talk. Take notes as you listen, paying attention to the language he uses, where you notice transitions, what techniques he uses to draw you in and hold your attention, and how he uses facts, figures, quotations, and stories. Notice not only the topic of Mr. White's presentation, but the specific purpose of the speech, as well. What pattern of organization does he use? What do you notice about the flow of the speech? Thinking back to the "news story" exercise (the one that dealt with two different versions of a Dennis Rodman incident), pay particular attention to the rhetorical structures that Mr. White uses. How does he use language to influence your thinking? Does he use visual aids? If so, what are they intended to do within the context of the speech?

I will ask you to focus on two or three of these questions and to write an in-depth analysis of the speech in an essay for me, due a week from Monday. As I explained in class, I'm not crazy about assigning minimum page lengths for essays, so I'm not going to say "it needs to be this many pages long." What it DOES need to be is comprehensive, thoughtful, and well-written. Don't just parrot back bits of the speech to me - use quotes, certainly, but use them to illustrate the point you're making in the essay. Take some risks here; stretch your thinking beyond what you feel safe doing and really work your way through this assignment.

I know it seems like I've given you a lot, but if you look at it you'll see that it's just because I'm wordy and feel the need to explain everything in excruciating detail. Feel free to contact me at this email address if you have any questions about any of this. I'm fairly free this week and can meet with any of you if you feel the need to sit down and work this through.

Warmly,

-Mrs. Chili

Rereading this, I think an intervention might be in order...

Busy Day!

2006-11-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

I had quite an eventful day at work today!

I subbed the Lit. class for my colleague and had a lovely time of it. The class was a little off balance, I think, at the thought of having a sub - I'm not sure they knew what to think of me as I confidently strolled in and started teaching ("what?! Subs don't TEACH!"). It took me a while to get them to actually start participating in class, though - there weren't a whole lot of people willing to talk to me ("No, no, kids - you don't understand - I'm not asking rhetorical questions up here! What do you know about poetry?) but, once they did, the class went really well. I walked them through most of the lesson plans that my coworker left for me - I may have left something out here and added something she didn't include there, but the overall effect was pretty much the same. I learned that I have to brush up on my mastry of poetic forms; I should be able to spit out AT LEAST the rules for Shakespearean sonnets (I can recite a few of them by heart - and did so, much to the eye-rolling horror of the class - but I can't explicate the form with any certainty).

Something interesting happened in the class, though, and I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. When the actual class started, I handed out the Calvin and Hobbes you see above (click on it for a larger, more easily readable view)- I love to start classes or, at least, new units with comics. As the morning wore on, students dribbled in here and there from the hallway. By the time break rolled around, the class had increased by about 75%, so I told all the kids who didn't have a comic to come up to see me before they left for break so I could list them on the attendance sheet. The strange part, though, was that a BUNCH of those kids never came back. WTF? Do you think that I'm not going to NOTICE? Do you think I'm not going to bust you for it? Uh - I don't think so. Just before class was over, while they were working on their journal entries, I went around to the remaining students and checked them off again. Then, after class, I went to the registrar's office to ask them to dock the kids who showed up late and left early. I'll be damned if I'll let students take advantage of me like that. They don't know me very well, do they?

My public speaking class went pretty well, though I was, in all honesty, expecting a mutiny. I pulled a fast one on them and I felt bad about it, even though I was justified in doing what I did. I'd told them, last Monday, that there would be a quiz today. While I was writing the quiz this weekend, though, I realized that we're just about at mid-term, so I added about half again as many questions and turned the quiz into an exam. They whined and protested when I told them this morning that I'd upped the ante without warning them first, but I assured them that the exam wasn't hard at all and promised that I'd reconsider the whole thing if they bombed.

I'm happy to tell you that NONE of them bombed!! The lowest score was an 82!! I'm THRILLED for them, and I'm not afraid to let them know it. Congratulatory emails are going out when I'm done with this post.

The last bit I have to tell you about today is that I saw that one of the two girls from my Foundations class who did the work I asked them to do - and saved herself from a failing grade - was in the class that's held in my room immediately after my class clears out. Before I left, I did my sternest "YOU! Come over here now, please!" Her face fell and she started to get all defensive, and when my face broke and I told her how pleased and happy I was that she'd done so well and how proud I was of her effort, she nearly burst with the smiling.

I love my job.

Substitute Teaching

2006-11-05T12:20:00.000-05:00

I've agreed to sub for another instructor at TCC tomorrow morning. She was hoping for a long weekend to go biking in a neighboring state and needed someone to cover two of her classes. Since my Foundations class is over, I could take her morning class, and she sent me the lesson plans for it last night.

She's starting a unit on poetry tomorrow, and I'm really excited about the prospect of teaching an introductory lesson. While poetry isn't my MOST favorite thing to teach - I'm still not 100% certain of all the rules and the meters and all - I'm confident enough in what I DO know to have a really good time with it. The thing I love most is disabusing students of their notions that poetry is somehow "above" them, that all "good" poetry has already been written, and that poetry has to be a highly formal exercise. Convincing students that they can write GOOD poetry about a carburetor or about stubbing their big toe or about watching a cat sleep - and having them come to believe me by actually DOING those things - is one of the great joys of teaching.

One of the things I love to do with poetry classes is to come up with limericks and haiku on the fly. Both forms of poetry are highly accessible - their rules are simple and their rhythms almost instinctual - and, once we get past the "there was an old man from Nantucket" crap, the exercise turns up some really great, often hysterically funny stuff. I went on a limerick-writing frenzy a while back, and wrote pieces about waffles, excentric old women and an ill-advised marriage - I can still recite the waffle effort. Vanx did a bit about haiku back in the spring, and I answered his challenge with pieces about Syracuse basketball, snow days, and my sleeping children. Whipping up "real" poetry off the cuff is a great way to illustrate to students that the genre is not the sole property of the past.

Since I'll only be teaching the one class, though, I won't be able to get to the part of teaching poetry that REALLY matters to me - the idea that poetry means whatever it means to the student. There is no right interpretation to a poem, and we're supposed to filter every piece through our own experiences and beliefs to come up with a meaning that works for us as individuals. I'm still working through this idea with my own children - my eldest, in particular, is interested in what things mean and wants to know "the answer." She's still struggling with the idea that SHE gets to decide what the poem (or the song, or the story) means. Once she works that out, though, she's going to find that the entire literary world just opens up for her, and she can mine it for all it's worth. That's what I want my academic kids to learn, too. Poetry belongs to them, if they can only work up enough courage to approach it with a sense of authority and a willingness to work their own selves into the words.

2006-11-04T12:15:00.000-05:00

jeff dunham peanut

At least I don't teach the classics in Alabama!!

Professional Development

2006-11-03T17:05:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I received an email from the Professional Development Coordinator at TCC. In it, she asked all the instructors to submit copies of all the work they've done under the heading of professional development, so she can keep track of what everyone's doing.

Part of me thinks this is strange. In order to teach at TCC, one doesn't have to hold a teaching certification. If one doesn't have to hold a teaching certification, one shouldn't need to continue with professional development credits to maintain that certification. I mean, I understand that TCC would be interested in having its instructors actively involved in the continuation of their own learning, but it doesn't seem to me that, given the lack of certification, professional development could be considered essential to keeping one's job.

Of course, this is all academic (heh) for me because I DO hold a state certification that I DO want to keep up even though I'm not teaching in an environment that requires it. I have professional development certificates I can submit to the coordinator, and I went around this afternoon collecting them all in one place so I can photocopy them to deliver when I'm back on TCC campus on Monday.

What I didn't realize, though, is that all my professional development hours - all 20 of them so far this year - have involved Holocaust studies. Any more that I take are likely to continue that trend - there are a couple of workshops being held at the Center for Holocaust Studies that I really want to attend.

I'm not sure what this means, if it means anything, really. It's a topic that interests me, that I can mine for a lot of material to use in an English class, and I mean, come on - there's no WAY I can learn everything there is know about it.

I wonder, though - is there a requirement to HOW one earns one's professional development credits. Do I have to diversify?

The Final Reckoning

2006-11-02T07:30:00.000-05:00

I’m handing in the grades for my Foundations class this morning on my way home from my chiropractor appointment. In the final counting, just under half of the students failed the course.

When I factored in all the lab work that DID get done, I ended up with 7 out of 17 students with scores below the 60% necessary to pass. I’m sure, at some point, I’ll get into a whole, long sermon about what I think about 60% being a passing grade, but I just don’t have it in me to fight that particular battle at the moment. Suffice to say that I don’t think that getting the right answer once more than half the time constitutes sufficient skill, in college OR real life. I’m pretty sure - though I’d have to ask my mathematically inclined friends - that you can beat that percentage just by guessing.

What I’m really tripping about is the fact that - against my better judgment and contrary to what I stated at the outset of the course - I gave the students until last night to finish the lab work they owed me - and damned near NONE of them did it. If more of the students had actually availed themselves of that opportunity - only two did - many more would have passed. As it was, the two that went back and did the work they needed to do managed to squeak OUT of failing; they brought their grades up over the requisite 60% and, as a result, don’t have to do this again. The rest of them? Don’t sell your book back to the bookstore just yet, kids - it’s going to come in handy in 12 weeks when the new English term starts up again.

So! What did *I* learn while teaching this class? Well, I learned - or, rather, had reconfirmed for me - that this is definitely what I want to do. I had a BLAST. I love the job and really want to keep doing it. I also learned that going back on my hard-ass deadline-or-die policy is a bad idea. The work is due when it’s due, period. If I don’t have it when I asked for it, it may not be handed in later. Tracking down all the different labs that people owed me the night before grades were due was just exhausting, and I’m not interested in doing that again. Finally, I learned that, even if I can’t reach EVERYONE, I can reach a few. I really connected with at least two - possibly three - students in the class. I TAUGHT them something. Light bulbs went off. There’s little that’s more satisfying than seeing the proverbial light dawn.

It’s a high, and I’m an addict.

Outside Confirmation

2006-11-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

Last week, a professor at TCC popped unexpectedly into my public speaking class. She settled herself in and watched a student give a speech, listened while we gave that student some feedback, took a few notes and left.

I thought it was odd that she should do this - I didn't know she was coming and she never spoke to me about it either during or after the class. It then occurred to me that she may be the advisor for the student giving the speech - she showed up just as he began and left as soon as he was finished. Yes, I thought to myself, that must be it.

As it turns out, she was there looking at ME. This morning, I got this email:

Hi, Mrs. Chili. I very much enjoyed observing your Effective Communication class. You modeled respect and good listening skills for your students. Your concentration on their speeches was quite focused. I was also impressed with the quality of your constructive criticism and the positive reinforcement that you meted out. The notes on the board about constructive criticism were also especially useful, and of course, were good for visual learners. In addition, your students gave good, thoughtful feedback and appeared to welcome the classroom interaction. Finally, your positive, high energy delivery is obviously effective. Keep up the good work, and feel free to contact me for more feedback. Thanks also for sharing your class with me.

Of course, I feel pretty good about this review, though I'm curious to find out what "more feedback" she has to offer. When I email her back to thank her for her comments and invite her, anytime, into my class, I'll ask what else she noted that she didn't mention in the email.

Based on this, I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll be offered new classes to teach next term. I'm glad of it - I'm really enjoying this job.

Final Exam Tally

2006-10-31T18:15:00.000-05:00

And the scores are in!!

(and no - no one grabbed an A. Not even close; I just liked the graphic.)

One student got an 85 (he's the kid who wrote "VULCAN" on his paper, bless him! I sent him a personal email this afternoon, to congratulate him on the score). Two earned a 79, one got 78, and two more scored a 73. One managed a 72 and one more finished off the upper scores with an even 70.

Three students earned a 66, two girls got a 62, and I've got one each with 58 and 57. The two bringing up the rear chime in with a 48 and a 39, respectively.

Yeah, that's right. 39. Three. Nine. She got 61 questions out of 154 correct. She just didn't bother to do two entire sections, and really bombed the stuff she did do. Sigh.

The final scores for the course are due on Thursday, and I've given the students until tomorrow to finish the online lab work they owe. IF they do all the work (and don't crash too badly on the scores for that work), a good many will pass, even if they failed the exam. The boy who got the 48? If he turns in the rest of the work he owes me, and does as well as he's historically done with the lab work, he WILL pass the class. Scary, but true.

And yet? I still love this job.

Thoughts and Meditations

2006-10-30T19:36:00.000-05:00

I'm working on tallying the final grades for the Foundations class. I can't put a lid on it just yet - I've still got kids scrambling against a Wednesday deadline to get computer-based work to me - but the grades I do have at this point are not at all encouraging.

I offered the entire class a good half-hour review session before I handed out the final - an offer to which they most decidedly did not avail themselves. I got a few good questions, mostly from the same two students who, more than anything else, I think, just wanted to start thinking about grammar before they jumped into the test. At one point, one of them asked what prepositions are, so I wrote "PREPOSITION" on the board and underlined the POSITION part of the word, then asked them what prepositions are. "OH!" one of them exclaimed, "You did that in class before! Prepositions tell you where something is!"

"YES!" I said, "Now give me an example."

I got some good examples; over, under, around, through, in, on, between. They were groovin' with prepositions.

How many of them do you think got it right on the test? Go on, guess. Out of 17 students, how many could correctly identify a preposition?

Give up?

Six. Six out of seventeen students could identify a preposition, five minutes after we put a dozen examples of them on the board.

I'm trying to decide how I feel about all this. The biggest part of me - the part that takes immense pride in the work I do and that believes I do that work extremely well - has absolutely no feelings of responsibility for the fact that the better part of the class is likely to come away with failing grades. I taught a good class. I taught a fun class - at least, as fun as a grammar class can really be. I engaged more than one learning style. I offered up tricks and mnemonics and sang them Schoolhouse Rock songs. I drilled and illustrated and gave them the Vulcan greeting. I made myself available to them for extra help and was as enthusiastic and encouraging as I know how to be. Their failure is not my failure.

The other, much smaller, part of me thinks that there's got to be some blame for the students' poor performance to be laid at my doorstep. Sure, the class duration was too short and the students are the "children left behind" - the ones who have fallen through the proverbial cracks for their entire academic lives - but there's a little voice in the back of my head that's asking if I truly did all I could do.

If I'm to answer that voice honestly, I would say that, yes: given the time and the resources I had available to me, I did the best I could do. Coming to grips with the fact that my best wasn't enough is another matter altogether, though.

Judgment Day Approaches

2006-10-27T14:39:00.000-04:00

On Monday, Organic Mama and I administer the final exam to our respective Foundations of English classes. It's going to be interesting, for us and for them.

We put the test together on Wednesday, and had a blast doing it. It took us a while to settle down and get to business, but I think that we came up with a test that is fair and relatively comprehensive - and it's going to scare the shit out of most of our students.

After all the formatting, it came out to fifteen sections that take up six pages. We ask students to list the five things that make a sentence complete, to match parts of speech to their definitions and to list at least one example of each, and to identify and fix sentence fragments. Section five asks students to find the subject and verb in each sentence, and section six is all about commas. Then, we've got some subject/verb agreement exercises, some pronoun/antecedent exercises, and some work in choosing either I or ME in sentences. Next come a couple of sections of apostrophe questions, a bunch of sentences written in colloquial language that we want the students to fix and, finally, a bit of 'commonly confused words' work.

Their heads are going to explode.

None of it is that difficult, really. Mama and I had to keep reminding ourselves that "too easy" for us is challenging to our students, and it was difficult - for both of us, I think, though I can't speak for her - to keep the bar low enough to guarantee at least some student success. Seriously. Here are some examples of the questions we ask:

In the following sentences, correct the verb form, if necessary:
-When he walk into a room, everybody looks up.
-The bookstore hasn't receive the books yet.
-She don't know how to get to the party.

Circle the correct pronoun:
-Sam is a better cook than (I/ME).
-Enrique made souffle for my husband and (I/ME).

Change the following sentences to clarify the pronoun:
-Harvey told his father that he was too old to play with the Cub Scouts.
-Clifford's father died when he was twelve years old.

I'm really hoping that they do well, though I have to admit a lack of optimism for the outcome. It's not that they haven't worked hard or that we haven't been diligent teachers, but that we just haven't had enough time.

The Post in Which More of My Geekiness is Revealed..

2006-10-25T20:58:00.000-04:00

We're slowly putting our house together after a major renovation/addition. Part of this includes a new dining room, complete with book cases! This thrills me on several levels; I get to put all of my books in one place, where they will be easily accessible and I can look at them and admire their beauty and, well, generally revel in my love of bound paper.

I'm in the process of moving books from their scattered resting places around the house and trying to put them in some semblance of order. This is a huge cause of Type-A misery for me. Do I shelve them alphabetically by title? By author? Do I group them by genre, and if so, do I separate the "general reading" from the "canonical literature"? Do I put the "teacher" books apart from the "poetry" books? Where do the candy-reading books go? Do I put The Joy of Sex in the bookshelves in the dining room? I mean, really?

If these worries weren't testament enough to my genuine membership in the Geek of the Month Club, add to that the fact that, as I put books away in the new shelves, I’m meticulously listing their ISBNs (notice that I didn’t say ‘ISBN numbers’ because the ‘N’ in ISBN stands for ‘number’ and I hate being redundant. SEE? I really AM a geek!). I’m doing this so that, sometime in the unknowable future, if I happen to obtain a bit of library software that can catalog my books by ISBN, I shall have that information readily available.

Still not convinced? Here’s a list of the books I’ve encountered so far of which I have more than one copy:

Hamlet
The Taming of the Shrew
Romeo and Juliet
MacBeth
Frankenstein
The Essentials of English
The Elements of Grammar (no, really - two copies!)
Wicked
Jane Eyre

I’m sure there are more that I haven’t come across yet - these are just the books I’ve put away so far.

LOSER!

(author's note - once my laptop is back among the living, I'll post a picture of the book corner. I can take a picture today, but can't get it on the site until I've got my own laptop back....)

Starfish

2006-10-24T19:45:00.000-04:00

I attended another seminar at Not-So-Local University last week, and my brain has been working nonstop ever since.

The workshop was titled “Rescue and the Righteous” and was put on by fellows from the Jewish Foundation for the Righteous. The focus was mainly on character education; the concept being that rescuers during the Holocaust possessed at least one of eight qualities - courage, integrity, ingenuity, compassion, moral leadership, cooperation, self-sacrifice, and social responsibility - that allowed them to behave the way they did.

As a group, we talked about how people can, in times of trouble, be placed into one of several categories - perpetrator, enabler, bystander, victim, or rescuer (though “fighter” or “resister” didn’t come into that list) - about how people make choices that lead them to embody those labels and about how they can choose to move between them. We discussed the idea that it is often a profound thing to stand up against a seemingly overwhelming force, and how much we admire those who do that. We talked about how vital it is that our students be given an opportunity to move from thought and refection about these things to action and actualization in their own lives, whether that be through volunteerism or simply taking the time to listen to someone tell their own stories.

What has been coming back to me, again and again over the past several months, is the idea that much of our human experience is dictated by our capacity for empathy. One of the discussion topics touched on in the workshop - though not developed to my satisfaction and is, consequently, the thinking that’s keeping my brain so busy - was whether or not rescuers during the Holocaust were somehow “extra-human.” Does the need to reach out to others, to speak up against an injustice, require some sort of superhuman trait that most people simply do not have? Can people be forgiven for not standing up in support or defense of their neighbors if the risk to themselves or their families is too high? Are there limits to our capacity to care for each other?

I brought up a story I heard a long time ago about how our actions can change a life: A storm raged during the night and left masses of starfish stranded on the shore. The next morning dawned bright and clear on the receding tide, and the starfish began to dry out and die. A man walking on the beach came upon a little boy industriously tossing starfish back into the waves and commented to the child that there were thousands of starfish in the sand, that he couldn’t possibly make a difference. “Well,” said the boy, tossing another starfish in to the water, “I made a difference to THAT one.”

As a human being, I’m insulted by the idea that it takes an extraordinary power to reach out to another human being. I suspect that the director of the workshop I attended last week was trying to say that, while certainly it takes some fortitude to stand up in dangerous situations, doing so is an essentially human reaction. Believing that compassion and empathy are somehow super-powers is a cop out that many - perhaps most - people use to comfort themselves when they fail to step up and do what their souls know to be right. I understand egocentrism as well as the next person; I get that we are all instinctually looking out for our own survival and best interests. What I don’t accept, what I refuse to accept, is that this is our default position. I am more than certain that most of the problems we face, locally, nationally, globally and spiritually, are rooted in our lack of caring for one another. We love and care for our families and friends, but that caring often does not extend beyond the walls of our own homes. We don’t know our neighbors. We don’t look out for strangers. We withhold kindness and compassion. We are estranged from one another. I am guilty of this: of the four houses I can see from my front yard, I only know two of the families who live within. I wave to the neighbors I don’t know, but I couldn’t tell you their names or, really, how many people live in their houses. We humans are disconnected in a very tangible way and, as a result, have an easy time separating ourselves from one another. Their lives don’t concern us. We devolve into “us” and “them”.

The Buddha asked, “if you can see yourself in others, whom can you harm?” I think this is an essential question we should be asking ourselves. More to the point, if we can see ourselves in others, how can we tolerate suffering in those others? Even MORE to the point, if we can see ourselves in others, is there really such a thing as an “other”?

I have found that, in this lifetime, I am interested in human struggles for decency and respect. The plight of the Native Americans. Slavery, the Civil War, Reconstruction and the Civil Rights Movement. The Holocaust. As I continue my study of these turning points in human history, I am brought back, again and again, to the idea that it’s the same fight in different skin.

We humans feel a need to separate ourselves from one another. I believe, with all my being, that this is a need that is entirely contrary to our spirit and that it will, if allowed to continue, bring us about to our ruin. I am working very hard against that. I am trying to be mindful of opportunities to care - to toss back just one starfish - that present themselves in my everyday life. I'm kind to the frazzled check-out girl. I offer assistance when I can see that it might be needed. I talk to the people waiting in line with me at the bank. I give of myself as much as I can (sometimes a little too much), and am trying to teach my children - both biological and academic - to do the same, both through word and example. I may not save a life with my small acts but, then again, I just might. I'm not sure it matters; I think it's enough to put good, loving energy into the Universe. I truly believe that we can only pull ourselves back from the brink we seem to be racing towards only by caring for each other in real and tangible ways.

"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." I'm willing to step up. Are you?

Yeah, That'll Work...

2006-10-21T08:38:00.000-04:00

Seriously. It's come to this:

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma (AP) -- A candidate for state superintendent of schools said Thursday he wants thick used textbooks placed under every student's desk so they can use them for self-defense during school shootings.

Go here for the rest of the story.

I just don't know what to say....

Another Gem

2006-10-18T14:41:00.000-04:00

Another email from one of my Foundations students (I've changed her name to protect her identity):

hi this is jenny henessey, i went to the libray for new books but she told me i had to buy a new book, what should i do

For starters, Jenny, you should capitalize the first letter of your sentences. You should probably also capitalize your "I" pronouns and your name, too, while you're at it. When you've finished that, you ought to check your spelling and figure out where to put a few punctuation marks.

I wasn't aware that libraries were feminine - you might want to give your pronoun a proper antecedent to clear up the question of who "she" is, then decide whether you're talking about one book or many books. Once you're done with that, you should probably sign up for another Foundations class, because I'm not sure that the two classes we have left are going to do you much good.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Chili

WHAT Was He THINKING?!?

2006-10-16T20:38:00.000-04:00

MAN! One of the students in my public speaking class has BIG brass ones!

I came home from my classes this morning feeling an odd combination of elation at having taught and near despondency at the fact that a decent portion of my students are hovering at or below the failure level. When I arrived home, my answering machine was blinking. One of the messages was from my boss. The message was as follows:

Hi, Mrs. Chili. I have an issue and I need you to call me as soon as you can. Thanks.

Now, you need to understand something about me: beneath this cool, confident exterior is a fairly thick layer of insecurity. I hide it well, and I do okay when I know for sure that I've covered all my proverbial bases, but I'm still quick to assume the worst when someone asks if I've got a few minutes "to talk" - and "the worst" usually involves me doing or saying something out of line. When I heard "I have an issue," my brain added "with you." Gulp. Add to that the fact that my boss, though a lovely man in and of himself, is also very difficult to read. He frazzles rather easily and it's not always clear what his mood is like, so it wasn't much of a leap to think that his issue was with me. My mind was racing around everything I did or said in the classroom this morning (we talked about swearing in the public speaking class in the context of "social contracts," and I admitted my tendency to swear like a drill sergeant. I didn't actually swear like a drill sergeant, though, so I knew I was okay on that front) and continued to inventory my behavior right up until Joe answered the phone.

It turns out that his issue wasn't with me, but with a student in my p/s class. It's one of the students taking a second crack at a passing grade. Let's, for the sake of narrative flow, call him Jesse, shall we? Well, Jesse's what you might call a "problem child." He's got slacker attitude to spare. He sits in the back with another delightful student, we'll call him Steve, and the two of them just yuk it up back there. Some of the crap they come out with is genuinely funny; I'll grant them that. Aside from the occasional humor, though, they add nothing of substance to the class and are, more often than not, a rather large disruption. Today was a particularly fun day with my own personal Statler and Waldorf, and I let my bitch out and told them that, next week, they're going to sit in different parts of the room because I'm not abiding by their behaviour anymore. I think they think I was bluffing. Silly children!

Anyway, Joe's issue, if I'm interpreting the story correctly, goes something like this: Jesse was in Joe's p/s class last semester. Jesse failed Joe's class last semester, because he failed to do the better portion of the work and didn't hand in his final exam. Because of his failure in the course, Jesse got booted out of something he wanted - either a scholarship or admission to a different college or something - this was the part of Joe's story that got a little confusing for me. At some point in all of this, Jesse's father, who works in academia, got involved (I think he's a dean of admissions somewhere, so he's up on the whole college thing). I'm betting that it was most unpleasant for Jesse to come home to tell Dad that he'd blown whatever opportunity he'd been offered, and Dad's been riding him to get his proverbial shit together.

Here's where I come in. Jesse's dad called Joe and told him that Jesse had worked out a "deal" with me whereby he didn't have to actually attend classes; he could just do the online work and I would allow him to pass the class. As Joe's telling me this, my jaw is dropping lower and lower: first of all, the attendance policy at TCC is INCREDIBLY strict - to the point where they actually hunt absent students down to find out why they're not in class. As a brand-new instructor, I'd have to be high on crack to even THINK about allowing a student to deviate from this policy. Furthermore, I would never consider making this kind of special arrangement with a student without running it past my boss first. I mean, I can vary my homework policy all I want, I can play with the weighting of grades, but I can't mess with school rules. Third, it's not in my nature to let a student "get by." You come to class, you bring your game, or you don't bother playing - it's that simple. What's really confusing me, though? Jesse's been to every class so far. He's not "attending" the online portion of the class - he's not done any of the work assigned and has, as a consequence, been marked as absent for the online classes, but he's been to every face-to-face meeting we've had so far.

I explained all this to Joe and he confirmed that he suspected that Jesse was playing games with his father. DANGEROUS games, it seems. Joe asked me to write him a report about Jesse's performance thus far, and what his grade would be if the class were to end today. I sent the following; I think it got my point across:

Dear Joe:

I'm writing in response to your request for information about Jesse Washington.

I can assure you that he and I have made no "deal" concerning his attendance in class. He hasn't approached me about making an exception to the attendance policy for him, and I wouldn't grant his request if he had, particularly not without consulting you first. To this point, Jesse has been in attendance at every physical class we've had but has turned in none of the online work that has been assigned; I've emailed Lucy in the Registrar's office to confirm his attendance record, but haven't received her response yet. He hasn't been in touch with me about any problems he may be experiencing with Blackboard, so I'm not sure whether his failure to turn in work is due to his not having access to the assignments or his just not doing them. He also failed to turn in the one written homework assignment I issued - an outline of an informational speech to be given next week. Again, he hasn't contacted me about any problems he may be having keeping up with the pace of the class discussion and rarely asks questions of the material that I present. This being the case, he currently has a 'zero' for the course work portion of the grade.

My general impression of his behavior in class is not favorable. He sits in the far back with another student and the two of them pay very little attention and contribute little of value to the class discussions. Several times during classes - today's in particular - I had to stop conversation to bring the boys back into line; they can be very disruptive and more than a little inappropriate. I mentioned to the two of them this morning that, next week, they will have different seating assignments because I simply cannot allow their behavior to continue.

The class will be delivering their first speech next Monday. As I said, Jesse failed to turn in the outline for this speech, so I'm not certain of his plans or his preparedness for the work. We discussed, as a class, the topics for the students' speeches, and Jesse volunteered that his talk would be about the medicinal uses of marijuana. I reminded him that his topic must be kept "college-appropriate," though I question whether he will be able to stay within boundaries.

If the class were ending today, Jesse would receive a failing grade. I'm hoping that the change in seating arrangements will help to focus his attention a bit more and that he is well prepared for his speech on Monday. I am also planning on having short, one-on-one conferences with the students next week to discuss their performance to this point - sort of a 'progress report' kind of meeting - and I hope to be able to impress upon Jesse that his current trajectory will land him back in another Public Speaking class next semester.

If there is any more information you need, or you would like more detail about something I've stated here, please contact me right away. I'll respond immediately.

Sincerely,

-Mrs. Chili

I mean, seriously; did he think this wouldn't come back to me? Did he think I would cover for his ass? Frankly, I'm shocked by the audacity of the kid, and I'll be interested to see where this goes, and what Jesse will have to say for himself when -and if - he comes to class next Monday.

Halfway Through the Foundations Course...

2006-10-13T22:04:00.000-04:00

...I've got 9 students out of a class of 17 earning failing grades. The course is pass/fail. A score of 60 or higher is required to pass.

There are two more teaching classes followed by one review and exam class.

We need the full term - 11 weeks - to teach this class. The students need the full 11 weeks to learn the skills they didn't get in high school.

I'm trying to figure out what I can do at this point to get The Nine up out of the basement, and I'm not even sure it's possible.

Fun With Grammar!

2006-10-12T19:34:00.000-04:00

Organic Mama and I were musing about this bumper sticker this afternoon. It took us quite a while to come up with the answer, but we finally came to a conclusion concerning what the subject and verb of this sentence are. Want to take a stab at it?

More Musings About Current Events

2006-10-12T18:44:00.000-04:00

The superintendent of our school district called my cell phone Monday morning and left a message inviting me to watch the school board meeting on public access cable on Monday night. The first thing I have to say is DAMN! School board meetings are BORING!

As promised, the superintendent spoke about school security, and rather early in the meeting (thank heaven!). While he talked a lot about locked doors and security cameras, crisis preparedness and how closely the school district works with the city's police and fire departments, he didn't mention anything about EDUCATION.

I really think many of our current school violence problems can be alleviated through education. We need to TEACH kids how to deal with their stress just like we teach them language, mathematics and how to avoid drug use. We need to show children that it's not okay to cope with your problems with violence. As responsible adults in schools and other child-rich environments, we need to be aware of which of our students come from homes and family situations that may be prone to pass, shall we say, less-than-ideal social skills to the students. We need to know which students share their homes with guns.

Let me say that again: We need to know which children share their homes with guns.

Why do I want to invade the general privacy of some families by knowing whether the household owns a gun? The same superintendent who spoke about door locks and security cameras wrote to me last week in response to my email. He told me that, when he was principal of my daughters' school about ten years ago, a fifth grader brought a .375 to school, and that the weapon had been discharged in a classroom by accident. Locks on school doors and security cameras would have done nothing to prevent this.

When I was strolling up and down our city's main street during the annual autumn festival this past weekend, I saw that our police station had a tent set up along side the merchants and service companies. An officer stood in full uniform behind a bin of trigger locks. A bin of FREE trigger locks. A bin of free trigger locks standing behind a sign that essentially said "please take one - no questions asked." While no one was hurt in the .357 incident, a trigger lock could have prevented the punchline of the whole story (though it could be argued that a nine year old having access to a gun in the first place should be a felony offense on the part of the parents).

It's all about education. We need to teach parents to be responsible with the care and keeping of whatever weapons they feel they need to possess. We need to teach children to deal with their feelings in socially acceptable ways. We need to teach everyone to see themselves in others and to do no harm.

Seriously

2006-10-12T10:34:00.000-04:00

This an almost completely un-retouched email I received this morning from a student in my grammar class (I deleted her name to protect her anonymity - everything else is exactly as she wrote it):

Hello.
I know I said that no later than today I'll have my English book and do the assigment, but the library right now asen't recieve the books yet. I talk to the manager of the library and she said that PROBLABLY the book will get there on Friday. I hope you can understand this, and I personally am sorry for not being register. Hopefully the book will be available no later than friday, and I'll make sure to get register and do the assigment.

Thank You:
G. M.

P.S. The assigment from last week, is now in your mailbox. Sorry about the delay :)

Yikes.

This student has already missed two of the six classes available to her. There is little hope that I can teach her enough, in the three classes we have remaining to us, to get her to the level of competence sufficient to move into the next required English course.

I'm really hoping that TCC takes a long, hard look at how to best serve students like this. I'm hoping, at the end of this term, to have the opportunity to make the case that a six-class presentation on grammar and writing skills is woefully insufficient.

Teaching is Touching the Future

2006-10-10T16:51:00.000-04:00

Star Trek seems to be a theme with me lately...

Last week, I taught my grammar class the five things that make a sentence complete. We went over the necessity for a capital letter at the beginning and some kind of punctuation at the end, that a complete sentence needed both a subject and a verb, and that it must express at least one complete thought.

I taught them this using Vulcan Fingers. Four of the five things fall conveniently into natural pairs, really - the capital at the beginning and the punctuation at the end, and the subject/verb relationship very neatly go together. The thumb, out all on its own, is the complete thought.

Yesterday, when I reviewed last week's class, I asked my students to tell me the five things that make a sentence complete. One student - God love him - made Vulcan Fingers and was able to list every requirement. Watching him, I realized that kid's going to remember that trick - probably for the rest of his life - and maybe even teach it to his own kids someday.

Teaching really is touching the future.

To Boldly Go...

2006-10-06T20:57:00.000-04:00

or, "Infinitive-Splitters Anonymous"

"Hi. I'm Mrs. Chili, and I'm an Infinitive-Splitter."

I've been reading through a bunch of the things that I've written over the past year or so. I pulled a couple of my college papers from a file I found in the attic while searching for a particular sweater (the Great Clothes Switch of 2006 will happen later this weekend, but I wanted the sweater NOW, dammit!). I've been re-reading blog entries and comments, and I've made a discovery. I split infinitives. Not only do I split infinitives, but I do it all the time:

"...I was relieved to finally see that...."

"...I hope to never have to do that again..."

"...and when it came time to truly step up to the plate...."

"...she has to constantly be in the spotlight..."

I can't help myself; I love the emphasis that split infinitives convey.

I just hope none of my students calls me on it...

Adventures in Grammar!

2006-10-06T20:26:00.000-04:00

**

So! I received essays from most of my Foundations of English class.

Wow. We've got some work to do.

I was pleased to see that, while some people need a lot more help than others, most of the class made many of the same kinds of mistakes, which makes my job a whole lot easier. Well, not easier, per se, but certainly more focused. I know I don't have to worry too much about end punctuation - no one ended a declarative sentence with a question mark - but I DO know that we need to work on pronouns, commas, subject/verb agreement and practice in naming the self last. I was surprised to find, too, that we need to spend some time talking about the difference between common and proper nouns.

The book we're using (or, rather, the book that came with the course - I'm not sure how much we'll actually be able to USE it) comes with a computer component that seems to me to hold wonderful potential. I was on the phone with the rep from McGraw-Hill for the better part of an hour and a half the other night, and we went over many of the features that I can use with the students during our hour-long computer lab allowance. The site (I'd link it, but you can't get past the home page without a password and group number, and you only get the number if you agree to do grammar work for me, so think VERY carefully before you ask me for it!) contains a wealth of mini-lessons and assessment tests that essentially use the repeated drill method of grammar instruction (which, after Schoolhouse Rock, seems to be one of the better pedagogical choices). Now that I know which students need which lessons, I can customize the lessons for each kid - Student A has no idea how to use pronouns, so she gets all the pronoun/antecedent lessons put in her locker; while Student B made no pronoun errors, but can't seem to figure out when to capitalize a proper noun, so she gets all the common/proper noun lessons put into her locker. The students do the work, take the assessments, and all the results are then reported to MY locker so I know what each student has or hasn't done. It's a cool system, and I really wish that we had more class time to use it to its full potential.

**now I'm going to Amazon.com to add this book to my wishlist...

I Have Daughters

2006-10-02T20:25:00.000-04:00

I was IMing with Kizz this afternoon, chatting about how well my first day of teaching went, when she asked me to turn on my television and find CNN. She wanted an update on a story she'd heard on her lunch break about a shooting in a one room schoolhouse in Amish country.

This is the third school shooting in less than a week.

How do I know this? Kizz posted an entry on her blog about gratitude on September 20th(it was she, not Oprah, who got me started on the daily gratitude kick). I posted a comment on that entry about how grateful I am for our relative safety.

Three Amish girls were killed today. One girl died on September 26th. Their parents sent them to school and they will never come home.

I'm beginning to reconsider how safe I really feel.

Driven by this awful combination of fear and sorrow and sympathy for the parents of those girls, I wrote a letter to my daughters' teachers, their principal, and the superintendent of schools for our district:

Dear Messrs. Superintendent, Principal and Second Grade Teacher, and Mrs. Fourth Grade Teacher:

On September 20th, a friend asked me to list five things for which I was grateful. Here's one of the items in my list:

*Our relative safety. I don't have to worry too much about my children's school being stormed by hostage-takers or about someone walking into my local Panera and blowing themselves up. I'm not so arrogant to think that those things could NEVER happen here and am watching with increasing horror as our nation's policies continue to ignore the idea that they COULD, but for now, I'm grateful that they don't.*

I'm writing to you in response to the three school shooting incidents that have happened in the U.S. since September 20th to ask what kind of safeguards and policies are in place should something like that happen in our schools. I've been listening to a lot of news lately (the wisdom of which, at the best of times, seems in question) and it's becoming startlingly obvious that my fears should not rest with Chechen-like terrorist, but with the random hostage taker with undefinable motives.

We never think it could happen to us. My point is that if it can happen in an unknown rural schoolhouse filled with Amish children, we really have to stop thinking that it can't happen in Small New England Town.

Forgive me for being - I'm not sure how to describe what I'm feeling; "alarmist" doesn't quite cut it, as there's clearly cause for alarm, neither does "paranoid" work - let's go with "cautious," shall we? I'm certain that you can appreciate that my children are literally the most important people in the world to me and I need to feel that I do everything I can to ensure their safety and well-being.

Thank you so much for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

-Mrs. Chili, Mom of Punkin' Pie, Grade 4 and Beanie, Grade 2

I got a response already from Beanie's teacher. I'm choking back tears. Here's what he wrote:

I want you to know that I treat and care for all my students the same way I do my own children.

I admire what you wrote and I agree that we should live life but also keep certain incidents/scenarios in the back of our minds.

Thanks for sharing.

I completely believe that he would do anything necessary to keep "his" kids safe and that does offer me a certain sliver of comfort.

It may be all I can ask for, but I'm not sure that's enough.

Uh, Huh! Oh, Yeah!

2006-10-02T16:54:00.000-04:00

This is me, doing my Happy Dance!

Today was my first teaching day at Tiny Community College. I started the day at 8:40 with the "Foundations of English," which went extremely well considering that the entire class of nearly twenty couldn't come up with the eight parts of speech on their own. We've got some serious work to do in there, but it's going to be fine as long as the kids keep up.

Next was the "Effective Communications" - a.k.a. Public Speaking - class. It was TERRIFIC! I have about 15 students, only four of whom are girls. A bunch of them, about a third, had taken (and failed) the class in the summer and were back for a second crack at a passing grade. We covered a bunch of information in the nearly-two-hours we had together; we talked about why this class is important, even to business or cooking majors, I gave them a few vocabulary words (rhetoric, connotation, denotation, critical thinking, and extemporaneous, for those of you who might want to follow along) and we talked about some famous speeches and why we still study them today.

I was impressed with the students' ability to recall important speeches - they came up not only with Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you," Lincoln's Gettysburg Address and MLK's "I have a dream," but also "nothing to fear but fear itself," "by any means necessary," and "a day that will live in infamy" all on their own, AND they were able to correctly identify the speakers: not bad for a group of 18 to 20 year olds. I was a little disappointed, though, with their ability to articulate why those speeches are still considered noteworthy. They were trying hard to tell me that they think we still study those works because they happened in the context of a critical intersection between political and cultural enviornments and the speakers' ability to tap into a common experience in order to get their messages across, but they weren't able to put that idea into my head without my having to do most of the work. I really want them to get to a point where eloquence isn't quite such a struggle.

It was a very rich and exciting class, and we covered a lot of material. As they filed out (ten minutes early - I could see them starting to lose steam), one of the repeating students walked up to me and said "that was great! I learned more in this class than I did during the whole course last semester." Talk about validation and positive reinforcement!

I'm still pretty high on the day; it was great to be back in the classroom interacting with students.

I love this job.

Maybe I DON'T Want to Teach in Public Schools...

2006-09-30T18:20:00.000-04:00

So, I'm driving with my family to one of our bigger country fairs, and on the way, we're listening to Whad'Ya Know on National Public Radio. I'm a pretty big fan of Michael Feldman; I really appreciate his sort of deadpan humor. Anyway, the weekly show begins with Mr. Feldman doing a quick-and-dirty rundown of the news, and this week's offerings included the following stories:

In Jackson, Mississippi, a public school PTA sent letters home to parents asking for their participation in the group. At the end of what I imagine was the usual PTA pep-talk about how important parent involvement in the schools is, the recipients of the letter were asked to check one of two boxes: "YES, I want to be involved!" or "NO, I do not want to get involved. I want my children to be thieves, drug addicts and prostitutes." That last bit? A DIRECT QUOTE, People!

The other feature was a story about an art teacher in Dallas, Texas - with 28 years of service, it should be noted - who was FIRED from her job after she took a fifth grade class on a field trip to the Dallas Museum of Art. It seems the parents of one of the children complained to the school board that their child had been irrevocably scarred by seeing a nude sculpture.

I'm not making this shit up. Go here for the PTA story and here for the Dallas art teacher story.

What the HELL is wrong with people?! Between the stories I get from CT about the crap that she's going through at the hands of her administrator, and the regular outrages I hear from Bowyer about the unethical stuff that's going on in his school - and now these stories - I'm almost grateful I didn't find work in a public school this year. It's little wonder that our nation is experiencing a crisis in education - teachers are too afraid to teach anything substantive for fear of being sent to the unemployment office.

"She's a super-geek! Super-geek! She's super-geeky, YEOW!!"

2006-09-28T19:08:00.000-04:00

Rick James got nothin' on me!

I went into my local Barnes & Nobel to buy a gift certificate for Organic Mama's younger daughter's birthday present. It's important that you understand that my ONLY intention was to walk out with the gift certificate.

I should know better by now.

Fifty-some-odd dollars later, I walk out with three grammar books and the wonderful collection you see to the left. B&N has come up with a series of university-level courses on CD on an AMAZING range of subjects; the inside cover of the book that came with the series lists 25 different titles in 6 different areas of concentration. Seriously; one can get anything from how men and women communicate to the Treaty of Versailles to appreciating classical music to the gem *I* picked up, "What a Piece of Work is Man."

The set comes with eight CDs upon which a professor - in this case, Harold Bloom of Yale and Harvard - expounds upon the subject at hand - in this case, seven selected Shakespearean tragedies. The set is intended to reflect the lecture series of an entire university class, and I have to say (having taken more than my share of university classes) that they've done a pretty good job. The box I have - I can't speak with any authority about what's in the others - also contains a book with the transcribed lectures, study questions, suggested reading and useful websites. From what I've seen and heard thus far, it's remarkable. A concise, inclusive, intelligent and well delivered course on the Bard's tragic works.

I've been listening to the lecture on Hamlet in my car as I've completed the various errands of my day, and I have to say that I'm very, very pleased with the purchase (there's a fair bit of alliteration in this post, isn't there? I assure you, it's not intentional). And one can't beat the price. As an undergrad, I paid upwards of $1300 for the Shakespeare course I took in the summer of '95. While no one is going to offer a student credit for listening to lectures on CD, if the goal is more about what's in your head than what's on your transcript, you can't beat a college-level course for less than 40 bucks.

Getting Ready

2006-09-28T17:44:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about my Foundations of English class today. I haven't actually met with the students yet - our first class was supposed to be last Monday, but was taken up with the placement exam that most of the students should have already taken at that point. I've got five weeks to get through sentence structures, to cover the eight parts of speech, and to work on their writing skills and reading comprehension.

Since I won't have access to the actual tests they took - and the college made an error by not administering the essay portion of the exam to this batch of incoming freshmen, so I don't have that as a guide to what the kids know or don't know - I'm going to run the first class pretty much on the fly. I'm going to start off by emailing the class as a whole tonight and asking them to come to our first meeting on Monday having read the first chapter of their text and with a short essay telling me five things I should know about them. I'm going to need an idea of where we are as a whole before I can really dive in and work on what the students really don't know. I'm going to run on the (slightly pessimistic) assumption that they don't know a whole lot. I figure, that way, I won't be disappointed.

The Lessons of Yesterday

2006-09-27T19:11:00.000-04:00

I spent today at a workshop given by holocaust survivor Irving Roth which focused on the use of memoir. It was well worth the cost of the seminar and the two hours it took to get to the university where he was presenting.

Roth started his presentation by calling up the words of John Dewey, who essentially believed that it's impossible to teach anyone anything new; that new knowledge must be built upon knowledge or experience that the student already has - or, lacking that, the student must be presented with an experience that will help him or her cement the new knowledge they obtain through the experience in real and meaningful ways. I'm not doing the theory a whole lot of justice here; let it suffice to say that Dewey wasn't a big fan of lecture-based learning, and neither is Irving Roth. He spent the rest of the day explaining how to take the enormity of the holocaust and make it relevant to high school-aged students through exercises in empathy and human experience.

It's very easy, he explained, to be completely overwhelmed by the events of the 1920s through the '40s. The coincidences of geopolitical, economic and social factors that brought about the rise of the Nazis and Fascists are really secondary to the point that the holocaust was an essentially human experience that orbited around the very human experiences of loss, betrayal and fear. We are all human, he continued, and we are all capable of experiencing these things. Understanding how to lead students to tap into those recognizable experiences - those experiences of loss and fear and betrayal that our students already carry within them - and to relate what we teach them of the holocaust to those experiences, helps young people come away from the lesson with a deep sense of the humanity of it all. When students are encouraged to feel as they learn, the holocaust is no longer a disembodied event that happened sometime in the murky past. Students are able to create connections - to practice empathy - and to begin to internalize the vast and timeless implications of the era.

Roth also spent a great deal of time emphasizing that we are all orchestrators of choice. Every act we take, every decision we make, every relationship we play a part in is composed of a series of choices that not only brought us to this point, but which will bring us through to whatever is on the other side of those acts, decisions or relationships. He very beautifully illustrated that we, as humans, are all equipped with a moral center (though the argument can be made that there are certain individuals who lack that center, but those who truly do are rare enough to not really come into play for purposes of our discussion). If we are to be truly human, we have to constantly refer to that center - to inform every single act and decision from a standpoint of what we know in our core to be "right" or "wrong". It is in doing this, Roth says, that we are able to survive the greatest horrors that we as humans can experience. The choice is to remain human in the face of evil that would seek to take our humanity from us.

I have about twenty pages of notes that were absolutely effortless to take; notes about questions of morality, notes about the overwhelming statistics of death and destruction during the Nazi reign, notes about hope for the future. Roth has a way of storytelling that is compelling and animated; he is an expressive man who (not unlike my father-in-law) likes to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet and wave his hands in the air to illustrate action. He is a man who, despite the horrors he experienced, the losses he suffered, and the attempts made on his humanity, chose to stay in the light. He has made it his life's work to see that light kindled in others by creating the Adopt a Survivor and Surrogate Survivor programs. He tasked us educators to carry on the work of keeping the stories alive, of celebrating the lives and spirits of those who experienced the holocaust firsthand, and to see to it that the next generation understands the lessons that history so desperately wants to teach us.

Irving Roth inscribed the inside cover of his book Bondi's Brother for me. "Dear Mrs. Chili," he wrote, "may the lessons of yesterday guide our tomorrows." As a teacher, it's my job to see that those lessons are taught. It's a responsibility I accept, and continue to strive to be worthy of doing well.

Let's Begin With a Challenge, Shall We?

2006-09-25T09:23:00.000-04:00

I arrived for my first class, complete with appropriate teacher-clothes, my computer, a syllabus, the textbook and a lesson plan covering sentence structure and nouns. Oh, and a box of Dunkin Donuts Munchkins because I want the kids to like me right off.

I arrived quite a bit early, mostly because I had some photocopying to do because I also came equipped with a bunch of grammar-related comics to lighten the mood. I wanted to have a quick chat with Joe to see if there was anything in particular he needed me to do today, and I found him in a high state of agitation.

It turns out that this class - the Foundational English course - is set up for students who earn a certain grade range in a placement test that all students take when they are admitted to the school. The test is administered in a number of different sessions, one of which was held in an all-day run on Saturday, and the results of the test tells students which sections of math or English they will be taking. It turns out, though, that a rather large number of students haven't taken the test yet - and didn't show up on Saturday. As a result, my roster shows the names of six students (one of whom didn't show up for the first class - I'm wondering what's up with THAT) and I'm writing this from the computer lab at TCC while I watch 12 other students take the placement test.

Oh, and to make this morning even MORE fun? There was a class being held in the room where MY class was supposed to happen. Not that it matters much, really, because my class isn't actually happening, but the fact that a professor from the culinary school just decided to plop his lecture into a room he wasn't assigned sent Joe precariously close to the proverbial edge, though it seemed like a non-issue to me, given that my class wasn't going off anyway.

All this means is that I now have FIVE weeks to cover the structure of the English language with my students instead of six. Woe befall ProfessorChef if he's in my room NEXT week, though. I've got work to do!

A Shameless Plug

2006-09-24T15:33:00.000-04:00

The Divine Ms. P - also known as Organic Mama - has a new blog up. She and I went to grad school together and, as luck (and my bossiness) would have it, are teaching different sections of the Foundations of English class over at Tiny Community College. I'm very excited that she's blogging - I really think you're going to love her style. Surf on over to New Beginnings and check her out.

The Keys to the Kingdom

2006-09-23T13:13:00.000-04:00

I start my Foundational English class at Tiny Community College on Monday. I can hardly wait.

The class is essentially remedial. I've got six class meetings to go over the nature of sentences (I've got this one going on ALL THE TIME at my house - I've been drilling my daughters about it since school started, and both of them can recite the five things that make a sentence complete. Can you?), the parts of speech, subject / verb agreement, the various tenses, how to use commas and semicolons, things like that. It's going to be a wicked sprint, but I have faith that we will get through it just fine.

While this isn't exactly what I got into English teaching for - I'm more of a critical analysis, writing about literature kind of gal - I recognize and have a deep and abiding belief in the importance of learning the fundamentals. Learning to walk before one learns to run and all that. That I can get an idea out of my head and put it into yours using nothing but language, that we can share an experience through reading and that we can set parts of our souls free through writing are all staggering to me. Stop and consider, for a moment, how amazing language really is; about how you recognize when people use language really well and, conversely, how easily you recognize when people use language badly. You may not know the technical, grammatical reasons why something sounds right or wrong, but you know it when you hear it. Knowing why something is right or wrong, though, gives you that much more control over how you communicate, how you make your needs and feelings known, and how others form impressions of you. That's a remarkable kind of power, and we are all entitled to it.

I'm going into this class with a high volume of enthusiasm for the subject matter, and I'm going to spend a decent portion of the first class convincing the kids that this stuff is worthwhile and important. Being able to communicate well is where the real juice is, and I suspect that many of them already instinctually know this.

Many of my students will be attending their first college-level class EVER on Monday morning with me as their instructor - don't think I'm not mindful of that responsibility. Grammar doesn't have to be boring, and I want them to understand that I'm doing nothing less than giving them the keys to the kingdom. Get the basics of your language down, and you're well on your way to the most important life skill a human can possess: The ability to REALLY communicate.

The New Kid Gets the Short Stick...

2006-09-21T14:28:00.000-04:00

Joe called me this morning. "I have good news and bad news," he told me. ("oh, GOD," I thought, "here it comes...")

The bad news, he said, is that there was a mistake with the course enrollment numbers and the college has combined a couple of sections of Foundational English. The combination means that one of the sections had to be dropped and, since I'm the newest kid on the block, mine was the section that got dropped. The good news, he bubbled, is that I'll be able to focus more attention on my other two courses. I was okay with it, really - I wasn't overly invested in the Foundations class; while I was more than happy to get it, I wasn't crushed to lose it.

About half an hour later, my phone rings again. I said "hello" and the voice on the other end said, without greeting, "You should know that you work for an idiot." It was Joe, calling back to tell me that he'd made a mistake - that it WASN'T the Foundations course that was being combined out of my schedule, it was the Composition course.

I find I'm a little more disappointed about losing the Comp class...

Oh, By The Way...

2006-09-17T12:14:00.000-04:00

So, on Friday I went into Tiny Community College (hereafter known as TCC) to do some administrative stuff. Joe had sent me home after our interview on Monday with a packet of papers from the human resources department - a TON of papers, actually, that took me nearly an hour to fill out - and I wanted to bring them all back. I also had to provide my driver's license and Social Security card to prove that I'm not an illegal alien (who's dying to teach English - I thought that was kind of funny). I was going to just bring my passport, until I realized that the key to our bank box isn't in my car anymore - it's in Husband's - so I went with the "one document each from columns A and B" option. Anyway, after delivering the forms, all properly signed and dated, an official copy of my transcripts and the legal citizenship documentation, I headed over to Joe's office to pick up the texts for the classes I'll be teaching.

I found Joe in his cubicle, furiously trying to get a bunch of loose ends tied up before he leaves for an unexpected trip to the midwest on Monday. He was tapping away at his computer, trying to get notices and forms out to all the people who would need them, finalizing the schedule for the term that starts next Monday (which is part of why I'm telling you all this in the first place - just bear with me) and making sure that he returned all his phone calls before his flight takes off on Monday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a bit, he told me about the orientation that will happen next Friday then turned to me and said:

"How would you feel about taking on another class?"

It turns out that he has a bunch of sections of "foundational" English that he's got to find instructors for. Remember I told you that TCC doesn't have any admissions standards? That if students hold a diploma or a GED, and can afford to pay for classes, they're in? Well, as a result, a lot of students come to the school with less-than-stellar skills in English and math, so the college sets up classes for them to hone some of those skills before going on into the classes for which those skills will be required. The classes run for six weeks instead of eleven (or twelve, in this case - they take foundational English for six weeks and foundational math for the other six) and classes start a week from Monday.

I told Joe that I'd be more than happy to take on another class, and that the short notice doesn't bother me in the least. The course dovetails very nicely with the others I'm teaching as far as scheduling goes - the Foundations class runs just ahead of the Public Speaking class - and doesn't interfere with my ability to get the girls ready and on the bus in the morning. To say that Joe was relieved would be a bit of an understatement; as he walked me back to my car, he joyfully announced to at least two people we passed by that "one more hole is filled!!"

I'm really excited by all of this activity in the professional part of my life, though I'm trying to keep an even keel about it and approach with a fair dose of caution. Just this weekend, one of my Capital-G-Girlfriends wrote me an email in which she said that this "sounds like the perfect gig to keep you active while you wait for YOUR job." That got me thinking...

What if this is MY job?

Wow. You Guys are GOOD!

2006-09-12T15:07:00.000-04:00

Also titled: "In Which a Miracle Occurs."

Thank you, thank you for your good wishes today - they really paid off!! You are now reading the blog of an adjunct professor of English at Tiny Community College!

It was, perhaps, the strangest interview I've ever had - not that I've had that many, really, but still. Joe did most of the talking, regaling me with the history of the college ("The school is more than 100 years old, you know!") and about how they were recently bought out by a conglomerate which buys small schools and turns them into for-profit institutions ("which is both a good and a bad thing," Joe told me. "Good because there's a lot more access to materials and resources, and the kids can use the corporate umbrella to do some great networking and find jobs after they graduate, but a lot of older faculty don't like the way some things had to change when we made the transition.").

The school is mostly career-oriented; they offer certificate and associate's degree programs. As such, they don't have a liberal arts department, so the English classes fall under the General Education department and are maintained so that the college gets to keep its national accreditation. Joe explained to me that the school doesn't have any admissions standards - if you have a high school diploma or the equivalent and can afford to pay for your classes, you're in - and that many of the students come to the college without an effective grasp of reading and writing skills. He asked me a couple of questions about what I thought about the classes he had open - did the lack of admissions standards frighten me and what would be the most important thing I wanted my students to come away from the class knowing, for example - and I answered them as forthrightly and honestly as I could. He seemed impressed.

When it was all over, after a tour of the building and what I hoped wouldn't be a quiz on the names of all the people I was introduced to, Joe asked if I had any questions. When I said I really didn't, that he'd done a remarkably thorough job of explaining the ins and outs of his school, he turned to me and said, "SO! I would like to offer you the position, but I won't accept an answer until tomorrow. Go home. Talk it over with your family. Sleep on it. If, tomorrow, you still think it's something you want to do, give me a call." Even though he wouldn't accept my answer, he still sent me home with a new-employee packet.

So, here's the deal: I'll be teaching a composition class on Monday evenings from 6 - 7.30, and an "Effective Communication" (public speaking) course on Monday mornings from 10.30 to noon, with an added online class sometime during the week (I gathered from Joe's explanation that there have to be so many credit hours for general education classes, and the online portion makes up the missing time). Their terms run for 11 weeks, and I'll start early in October. If, at the end of the term, the college and I decide we like one another, I'll be offered new courses when the next term begins.

I'm excited and relieved and generally pleased at the results of today. This is pretty much the perfect first gig for me - I get to teach what I know, I get to do it in a pretty relaxed atmosphere with a bunch of supportive people around me (did I mention that I'll be assigned a mentor?), the schedule is very, very flexible and the commitment is only for 11 weeks at a time. This leaves me open for being able to accept a position at a high school should one make itself available. And, as Kizz so rightly pointed out, now I'll have something to talk about here!!

And here's the part where I offer heartfelt gratitude to all of you - for your support, your encouragement and your friendship. I'm so glad to have you around. Thanks.

Oh, Please, Please, Please!!

2006-09-11T17:43:00.000-04:00

I just got a phone call from Tiny Community College. They have a couple of openings - one for a public speaking course ("Effective Communication") and one for English Composition - and Joe called to find out if I'd be interested in either of them ("Um, gee, let me think. YEAH!!")

I interview tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Please pause for a moment around that time to wish me well; I REALLY want to work!

The Little Engine (I think I can, I think I can...)

2006-09-09T18:14:00.000-04:00

Well, Friends, I've done it again. I sent in my application for a full-time substitute position in a semi-local middle school. I am nothing if not persistent.

From what I can gather, this is the sort of job where I would show up every day and, if there's a teacher out, I would sub for that teacher. If there's not a teacher out, I would still be there, covering duties and running errands and the like.

I think that this is a brilliant way to arrange for substitute teachers; the work and income for the subs is steady, the kids get to know who the teachers are, thereby limiting the amount of nonesense and attitude that the subs typically receive, and there are no 6 a.m. phone calls. The school gets a sense of who their subs are and where their strengths lie, and have a ready pool of teachers to pull from should a position open up.

Bowyer hooked me up to the opening. He works in that school district and has been encouraging me to apply because he sees it as a good way to get in the proverbial door. He's pretty sure there'll be openings in the high school this coming year, and both of us would love nothing better than to work in the same building.

As always, Dear Readers, I will keep you constantly posted on the outcome.

Nothing New to Tell...

2006-09-08T20:27:00.000-04:00

I'm writing, but I have nothing of interest to say.

I have no job and no prospect of a job. At this point, I'm not sure that it's worth actively looking for a job, really; the school year is pretty much underway, and I'm guessing that all the positions that needed filling are filled already. I'm not whining, exactly; I'm finding that I have plenty to keep me busy, and my lack of outside commitments means that I can volunteer in my daughters' classrooms and chaperone field trips, so it's all working out.

Even so, I'm going to re-send my resume to all the school districts in which I'm willing to work, just so they have my information should something come up during mid-terms. I wouldn't mind starting fresh in January.

I'm also looking into taking some workshops this fall and, perhaps, a class in January. Whether I'm actively teaching or not, I still have to complete hours to keep my certification current, and I figure it's easier, in terms of scheduling, brain-power and finances, to spread the hours out over the three years that the license is valid, rather than trying to cram all the time into the last few months before the state comes looking for its renewal fees. There are a couple of workshops at a not-so-local college that focus on the Holocaust and social justice that I wouldn't mind attending, so I'm going to register for those.

I've started reading the Outlander series again. I got through the third book in the set, loving every single page, and realized that there were a lot of details that I was failing to carry from one book to the next (I had thought that reading a different book between the series installments would help to prolong the enjoyment of the story, but it really just proved a distraction). In case you were wondering, it's just as good the second time around.

If you're still reading, thanks. I'm sorry that I've nothing more interesting or challenging to offer lately. I think I might try to do poetry week starting this coming Monday, or maybe a series on short stories. I'm also open to suggestions, so feel free to comment.

Have a great weekend!

-Mrs. Chili

Dream Interpretation

2006-09-03T18:03:00.000-04:00

This morning, we were all sitting around the breakfast table enjoying pancakes and discussing those of our most recent dreams as we could recall.

When it got to my turn, I told my family about the dream I had this early morning in which I was a nurse in a hospital ward which cared for babies. I had one patient in particular who concerned me greatly. He was an older baby, perhaps close on to a year old, who was enormously obese and had yet to learn to walk.

His father, an absolute giant of a man who was so huge he was unable to walk himself, berated me every time I entered his son's room for his daily physical therapy. As I hauled the child to his pudgy feet and encouraged him to at least TRY to balance upright, the father would scowl and humph from the corner of the room. "The kid doesn't NEED to learn to walk" the blob would growl at me, "I don't walk, and I get around just fine." The father DID get around just fine, in fact; he made his way through the world in a wheelchair-like contraption that actually turned him sideways so he could fit through doors.

His son, too, didn't seem to mind not walking. He would roll happily where ever he felt he wanted to be. The effect reminded me a great deal of Violet Beauregarde being rolled to the juicing room after expanding to a giant blueberry. The baby didn't seem to mind my coming every day to teach him to be bi-pedal, though; he was happily rolling around in his crib, and when I opened the door he stopped, his face splitting into an enormous, fleshy smile he giggled gaily and rolled toward me. I hoisted him from his crib and helped him upright where he wavered between delight at the exercise and frustration that he couldn't maintain the posture by himself.

That's pretty much all I remember of the dream. When I told my family the story, though, my husband had an immediate and intriguing interpretation, which led me to post this here for you. He said that the story speaks to my opinion of the state of our educational system and my own place in it: the indulged child rendered incapacitated by guardians (whether they be parents specifically or "the system" in general) which expects nothing of him but who, despite all that, really WANTS to learn: the frustration I feel at not being able to actually DO my job, hindered by the powers-that-be who won't offer up the chance for me to show how much good I can really do: and the excitement and joy I felt at the excitement and joy the baby showed when I came in the door echoing the eagerness I'm keeping contained at the thought of actually being able to get into a classroom, where I can see to the care and keeping of my own "babies."

It's not such a stretch. Freud he's not, but I think my husband's got a good case for his interpretation of my dream.

Me Being Anal....

2006-09-01T20:28:00.000-04:00

...or do I have a legitimate gripe?

My grocery store has this annoying habit of offering "daily specials" at the register. They don't offer USEFUL things - like city trash bags, which I ALWAYS leave the store without, because one can't buy them in the aisles; they must be bought at the registers. Nope; often, most of these specials are horrid offerings - sugary "fruit" snacks or dreadful BBQ chips - but the other day, my brazenly pierced check-out girl asked if I would like to try Fruity Cheerios. Given that I was starving - I hadn't eaten lunch, and hadn't bought anything that could pass for emergency tide-me-over food - I said "sure, why the hell not?" (I used those actual words; I thought brazenly pierced check-out girl could hack it). I popped open the box before I buckled my seat belt and decided that, as far as impulse buys go, this was not a stinker.

Right about now, you're wondering "what the HELL does this have to do with teaching?!" Patience, Grasshopper; I'm getting there...

ANYWAY, we've started eating breakfast at a real table lately, with the occasion of new floors and space in which to put said table. My children, I may or may not have mentioned, are excellent, eager readers and, in true kid-at-the-breakfast-table form, love to read the backs of cereal boxes while they crunch. Frankly, so do I, which is how we got here in the first place.

So, I'm reading the Fruity Cheerios box, where there are four little balls on the back filled with information that is supposed to make moms everywhere prefer Fruity Cheerios to those "other" fruit-O cereals. The very first ball, in fact, says, and I quote:

Excellent source of WHOLE GRAIN
Did you know that only 1 in 10 kids get enough whole grain per day?
It's recommended that most kids get at least 48g of whole grain per day.

Now, aside from this seeming like a WHOLE HELL of a lot of grain, and the fact that no where on the box does it mention how many grams of whole grain are actually in a serving of this stuff, the first complete sentence is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! One in ten kids GETS enough - there's only ONE kid - there should be a singular verb there, folks!

I wrote an email to the Cheerios people. Here's what I said:

As an English teacher and mother of two voracious readers (who enjoy reading the back of Cheerios boxes while they eat breakfast), I need to take some issue with the grammar on the back of the Fruity Cheerios box: "Did you know that only 1 in 10 kids get enough whole grain per day?" The subject of the main clause in that sentence is the "one kid," which means that the verb should be the singular "gets." Please help me do my part to teach our young people correctly and to save our language.

Too much, or am I well within my parent/teacher boundaries to request that they get themselves an editor with a grasp of the target language?

"Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming"

2006-08-31T07:02:00.000-04:00

I did it again - I applied, hopefully or foolishly, we'll see how it goes - for yet another job:

Dear Mrs. Chili
Thank you for your interest in employment with Tiny Community College. All resumes will be reviewed and qualified applicants will be considered for the open position. If you are chosen to move forward in the employment prescreening process, we will contact you by telephone or email.
Thanks and have a great day.

I will, of course, keep you posted!

It's Not That I'm Not TRYING....

2006-08-28T15:40:00.000-04:00

I suppose I can't get rejection letters if I'm not actually applying for these jobs, huh? It seems I'm starting a collection of these:

Dear Mrs. Chili:

Thank you for your interest in employment at the University of No Hope. The hiring department has carefully reviewed a number of applications for the Instructor (Part-Time) position, job order number 01472, in the Thompson School of Applied Science department. They have determined that other candidates are a better match based on job requirements and department needs. We wish you the best in your employment search.

Sincerely,

Human Resources Dept.

Another Perspective

2006-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'm kind of moping, too, but for the exact opposite reason.....

Sigh...

2006-08-22T08:09:00.000-04:00

Still nothing. Not that I was really expecting anything, mind you, but I'm still holding out hope, however futile and irrational that may be. Teachers in my neighborhood get back to work on Wednesday (that's tomorrow) and kids go back on the 30th. The liklihood of someone calling me, desperate for an English teacher, at this stage in the game ("can you start tomorrow?!"*) is pretty stinking slim.

I sent a letter to the principal of Local High School, reminding him that I'm still out here, still unemployed at any other school, and still really interested in working for him. I'm going to hit up all the other area schools for long term sub gigs, too.

I had a quasi-argument with someone in my health club the other day about whether or not I should just apply for sub jobs and use that as a means to get in the door. Her argument "for" was that it really is a good way to get yourself in the door - people recognize you, you're admired for your fortitude and reliability and, very often, hiring gets done from within. My argument "against" is that I'm not sure I can live my life by the ringing of the phone at 6 a.m., that subbing at the high school level isn't teaching, it's babysitting, that hiring isn't always done from within - I know this from personal experience - and that I'm not guaranteed a sub gig in English - I'm just as likely to be called in to sub for algebra (can you IMAGINE?! Me, who can't even figure tips!). This person works as a kindergarten and elementary school teacher, and she conceded that subbing in the upper levels is a very different proposition, but still believes that's the way to go.

When I had lunch last Friday with my former seminar groups (only one of whom has a job, by the way, and as an aide), I asked my supervisor, Sam, what he thinks I should do. His opinion was the same as mine; that I shouldn't take sub jobs and for the very reasons I laid out for the kindergarten teacher. If I can get a long-term gig in an English class, that's the way to go. So, to that end, I'm going to re-send resumes to the schools in the area and reword my cover letters to ask for long-term English sub positions.

Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky.

(*the answer, in case you were wondering, is YES!!)

In a Fit of Optimism...

2006-08-14T21:09:00.000-04:00

...I bought some stuff for my classroom today.

No, I don't have a classroom. I don't even have the PROSPECT of the CHANCE of having a classroom any time soon. Do I care? HELL, NO! I figure that going about behaving as though I WILL have a classroom will only help to spur things along. What the hell. Certainly can't hurt, right?

Anyway, I went on a bumper-sticker buying spree. I love the succinctness of bumper stickers; much wisdom expressed in just a few words.

I got these two because it's important to me to have my space be safe for EVERYONE:

and this one because it's one of my favorite sentiments (I also have it on a tee shirt, and the "narrow" is spelled out in the colors of the rainbow, which I thought was clever):
I got this one because we're implementing this thought process in our own home, and teaching kids to stop and think before they speak (or do) is never a bad thing:
Finally, I bought this one. Weedwoman insisted I get it because, well, I say this ALL the time.

The thing is, though, I can't bring myself to stick the things to my car. I can't, actually, bring myself to stick the things to ANYTHING. I'm planning on turning these into magnets.

Now I just need a classroom in which to display them...

STEEE-RIKE THREE!!

2006-08-10T14:10:00.000-04:00

Received this morning via email:

Hi Mrs. Chili,
Thank you for checking back in and I apologize for the delay. Being in the middle of a move re: CATA has slowed down communications in many areas. I want to thank you very much for your interest in CATA. At last night's Board meeting, another applicant was nominated for the English position and has accepted it.
I wish you the very best.
Deb

sigh...

Curiouser and Curiouser

2006-08-08T14:51:00.000-04:00

The Universe with a sledgehammer.

I've been calling the charter school every couple of days for about a week now, and leaving messages letting them know that I'm still here and still waiting to arrange an interview time. It seems that they've moved their offices and are in a state of, well, disarray and confusion at the moment, and I'm not entirely certain that anyone's even receiving my messages. Anyway, let's just say that I'm in a bit of limbo where this particular job opportunity is concerned.

Anyway, I stopped by the auto body shop this afternoon to check on the status of my Hockey Puck, which was involved in an accident a week ago (the car was in the accident - *I* wasn't, and neither was any other human being). I wander into the office to find Ed eating his lunch. He comes out ("no, don't let me disturb you," I say, "I can call later." "No, that's okay," he tells me, "I'm trying to choke down some gawd-awful KFC sandwich. I'd do well to take a break.") and we proceed to discuss my car and how happy his is with the wiz-kid of a dent repairer that he's imported from Texas to handle the repair of a flood of cars that were damaged in a pretty severe hail storm a couple of weeks ago**. After explaining that he's waiting on a couple of parts to be delivered so he has "something to measure against" when he gets the Puck on the frame machine, I say goodbye and head for the rental.

As I'm backing out of my spot, Ed comes out of the back of the garage and motions for me to roll my window down. He then proceeds to offer me a job working in the office with Cathy. "I know you've got kids," he says, "so we can be completely flexible. Come in when you can, leave when you have to. I just want someone in there to help her - she's so flooded now that I'm afraid she's going to leave, and I can't have her leave."

I'm intrigued. I can see myself working in this place; I really like Cathy - and have for years, ever since I met her after the Jetta was rear-ended in 2000 - and Ed is so easy-going and calm that I can imagine, even under the worst of conditions, he'd be a decent and fair boss. The flexibility of the job really appeals to me, the location is easy, and I already know I like my would-be coworkers. Since I don't have any promising ENGLISH teaching jobs on the horizon, I'm seriously considering taking Ed up on his offer. I'll call him tomorrow to talk about the specifics, to let him know that I'm still in the market for a teaching job and would likely leave him if offered one, and to make sure that he's serious about the flexibility - I need to not get any crap for staying home with the occasional sick child. If it all works out, though, I may be employed by the end of next week.

**Link courtesy of Kizz over at 117Hudson. Thanks, Honey!

Guest Lecture

2006-08-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

I was a guest lecturer in CT's graduate seminar this morning.

The University puts on a Summer Literacy Institute every year, and CT has been an instructor in that program for nearly 20 years. This year, she drew a "Responding to Literature" course, and she asked me, way back in March, if I could come in to offer my presentation on reading film in high school English classes.

I was really excited to do this. I have had some really great conversations in graduate seminars, and was hoping that this class would be talkative and engaged. While I'm not saying that they WEREN'T, they weren't as excited about this subject as I'd hoped. Of course, tomorrow is the last day of the class, most of these folks have been participating in the Institute for four weeks, and it's excruciatingly hot in these parts, so it could well be that, under different conditions, the conversations would have been more animated. As it was, they didn't seem eager to challenge their thinking, but they did seem to enjoy the presentation.

I showed them scenes from Schindler's List, Nuremberg, Ever After, and Glory. We talked (okay, *I* mostly talked) about navigating the silences where we KNOW something important is happening, about motivation, and about how to write through important moments. I told Punkin' Pie's "bring out your dead" story and reminded the class that the whole reason we're in this business is to give our students experiences that help them relate to their world. We talked about what kind of films we can show when trying to teach concepts like hubris, patriotism, irony and humor.

It was great to be in front of a classroom again.

I Am Queen of the Verbal Double-Take

2006-07-31T13:52:00.000-04:00

I offer the following as proof of my entitlement:

The phone rang this morning, and on the other end was Meghan, calling from the charter school I sent my resume to last week. Remember the one where I was sparked by word that there is an opening for a sign language instructor, but that I found out via an internet search that they're also looking for an English teacher? Well, we had a lovely chat, Meghan and I, about how excited they were to meet me and would I be available this week to come and sit down with the director of the school?

"Sure!" I said, "whenever you'd like."

"How's Thursday around ten?" she asked.

"Fine!" I said (though I now realize that it's NOT fine - I promised CT I'd do a guest-speaker thing about reading film in her summer class at the university, so I have to call Meghan back to reschedule). It was at this point that I realized that I had no idea which job they had in mind for me.

"By the way, Meghan," I said, "which position will I be interviewing for?"

Here comes the punchline...

"Well," she says, "we were thinking about trying to match you with the P.E. job."

(***What?! Sorry?!? Um, P.E.? As in "physical education"? As in GYM CLASS?!?***)

I managed to hold myself together remarkably well, given that this was, perhaps, the very LAST thing I expected dear Meghan to say. ME?! Teach P.E.?! HOW EVER did they get the impression that this might be something I could do?

So I asked Meghan, in as professional and composed a mannar as I could, why I was being considered for that particular position. She explained that they'd looked over my resume (though, obviously, not very closely, huh?!) and saw that I work for a health club. Fitness instructor must equal P.E. teacher in their world, and they thought I'd be a great match.

I made haste to point out that my Master's degree is in ENGLISH teaching, and that I'd really prefer to be considered for THAT job. A disoriented Meghan put me on hold for a minute to consult with someone, then came back and said "why don't we just keep your interview time, and you can work out with the school director which position you think would be the best fit."

Um. Yeah. Sure, okay, I guess.

So, now, I'm trying to figure a few things out.

One: what is it about my resume that makes people think "P.E."? Because, whatever it is? I need to fix it. FAST.

Two: what if I love the atmosphere and staff and philosphy over there, but they only offer me the gym job? My state certification is in "secondary education," which means I can teach from 5th through 12th grades - it doesn't say ANYTHING about WHAT I can teach (though I'm more than sure I wouldn't pass muster for "highly qualified" status as a gym teacher, even WITH my fitness certifications). Technically, then, I COULD be a gym teacher. Can you IMAGINE?!

"OKAY, kids! Today, we're going to run relay races. The object here is to get your team over the finish line first - BUT! - there's a catch! At each interval, there will be a bag. You must reach into the bag and pull out a slip of paper with a part of speech written on it. You cannot advance to your leg of the race until you can correctly define AND offer an example of the part of speech you've drawn. Ready?! Set?! GO!!"

Again, I say:

Hope Springs Eternal

2006-07-26T21:29:00.000-04:00

**

I'm applying to one more school.

There's a charter school in my town, and it seems they're looking for an sign language instructor. The ASL professor I work with at the university emailed me the other day to tell me that she'd heard of the position and has encouraged me to apply. While doing the prerequisite internet search on the place, though, I discovered that they're also fishing for an English teacher, so I've crafted my cover letter to ask that I be considered for both positions.

As always, I will keep you all posted as to the outcome!

**just as an aside: the common symbol for hope - crossed fingers - means the letter "R" in ASL...

2006-07-24T20:04:00.000-04:00

Yep yep - Sesame Street Martians

A little bit of a nostalgia trip. I wonder if I can use Sesame Street to teach high schoolers?

It's Official!

2006-07-22T16:15:00.000-04:00

I'm now licensed to educate the youth of my state! My license came in the mail this morning. I'm legal until 2009. I wonder if I'll find a job by then...

Whatcha Readin'?

2006-07-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to post here to keep my loyal readers (both of you) entertained when I've nothing of any teacherly interest to tell you. Then Kizz suggested that I fire off a "what's everyone reading?" post and see what happens.

I'm in the middle of Lost by Gregory Maguire, after having finished The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory, after having finished Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I loved, Loved, LOVED Outlander, though I wish I'd read The Other Boleyn Girl first (it paled in comparison, I'm sorry to say).I'm having a little trouble getting into the groove of Lost, though I'm very much enjoying the supernatural aspect to it. CT gifted me today with a copy of Theodore Rozsack's Memoirs of Elizabeth, which is the Frankenstein story told from Victor's bride's perspective. If it's anything like the dust jacket says, it should be a very interesting read. I'm still a little high off of reading Outlander, though, so I've got to get myself to a book store so I can get the next installment in the series.

What about YOU?!

CT's Adventures in the Hinterlands

2006-07-10T14:08:00.000-04:00

CT is on holiday with her husband in Alaska. It was a spur-of-the-moment trip for them; CT's husband has a cousin there who offered lodging at his house and they decided that their need of a vacation overcame any objections they may have had about going to Alaska, so there they are.

I wrote her this morning asking for an update. I told her about what's been going on around here and asked her what she's been up to. Here's the reply I got:

Hi Mrs. Chili,
Got to go immediately. We are leaving to go bear viewing. I don't want to give you the details, but I'll leave it to the universe. Talk to you later today (I hope).
CT

Lions and tigers and...oh, MY!

Into the Darkness

2006-07-07T10:56:00.000-04:00

So, I know that Kizz and I have read Heart of Darkness, and that some of you were going to make a go of it. It's time for those annoying English-teacher questions I promised! Feel free to think about any (or all, or none) of them and respond as you will. This is not for credit and will not be graded - feel free to take chances in your thinking.

*Think about the narrative structure of the novel. WHO is really telling the story? How does the narrative structure influence the story or our feelings or reactions to it?

*There are five women mentioned in the novel. Can you identify them? What are they there for?

*What kind of man is Marlow? What leads you to that conclusion?

*Is there any significance to the fact that the story takes place almost entirely on boats? How does the concept of movement influence the course of the novel?

*Think for a while about the nature of imperialism. How does Heart of Darkness address the idea of imperialism, and what conclusions does the story lead us to?

*Choose a character and consider his (or her) place in the novel. What motivates your character? How is your character different as the novel closes?

**start thinking about what you might like to read next; I'm loving the blog-book club thing!**

What Summer Reading Should Be...

2006-07-05T07:48:00.000-04:00

What I'm Reading

2006-06-30T20:09:00.000-04:00

Since I don't have anything job or education-related to tell you, I thought I'd write a post about what I'm reading.

I finished Heart of Darkness about three weeks ago - I'm still waiting to hear from people who want to talk about it; I've got some leading questions that I can ask to get a conversation started, if that's what's needed. Let me know.

While I was on vacation in Florida (a much needed respite from deadlines, due dates, and appointments, thank you very much!), I read The Dante Club, which was fantastic. As an English teacher-type, I get a kick out of fiction that utilizes literary figures as it main characters - in this work, Holmes, Longfellow, Fields and others pieced together a murder mystery in 1860s Boston. As someone familiar with the city and its history, I also got a charge out of the familiar setting.

I am now working on Outlander, a book recommended to me by a very dear friend of mine. She enjoyed the novel very much and insisted that I read it as soon as possible. I'm very glad I am - it's a well constructed story with complex characters and an intricate story line. I also really like that the story takes place in the Highlands of Scotland, which is where the bulk of my ancestors come from, so I'm feeling an affinity for this book because of its sense of place. I'm less than halfway through the story, but I can already recommend it.

What are you reading during YOUR summer vacation?

What'd I Tell Ya?

2006-06-30T08:49:00.000-04:00

I got this in my inbox this morning. There's that frickin' deep pool again, dammit!

Mrs. Chili:

After discussing our vacant position with three of the four interview
committee members, we have recommended a candidate to fill the one year
leave of absence. As I shared with you earlier this year, the talent in
this pool of candidates is extraordinary, making the process extremely
competitive and difficult.

Thank you for your interest in Local High School.

If I Don't Get a Teaching Job...

2006-06-29T17:25:00.000-04:00

...Maybe I can be a photographer.

These are some of the pictures I took of plants in Florida. Stuff like this only grows as houseplants in New England and I was absolutely fascinated by it.

No news on the job front. I'm almost certain that the AP at CT's school will do everything he can to NOT consider me for the opening, and I'm really okay with that. I've handed the whole thing over to the Universe and, really, am at peace with whatever comes back.

I Can Hope, Can't I?

2006-06-26T15:19:00.000-04:00

My cell phone rang while I was on vacation. It was CT, telling me that her office mate, who left in May to have her baby, just announced that she's taking a leave of absence this coming school year. I guess caring for the baby and a toddler is a lot more than she'd thought it'd be, and she wants to take the time to be with her girls. I don't blame her in the least.

Anyway, CT wanted me to get my name in the consideration for the job. When I got off the phone with her, I called the principal - the big guy, the one who came to - and stayed for - my dissertation presentation - and asked him about the position. He was a little hedgy about it (like that? I just made that word up!) but said that he'd talk to the assistant principal about it the next day.

I was hoping to come home to a message or an email or something, but no. I sent the AP an email this morning, and cc'd to CT and the big guy.

I'm pretty sure that there's a snowball's chance I'll get the job and the AP's whole speech about how sorry he was that he wasn't able to offer me a job the first time was just so much political horse shit.

The Calvin below is what I think of the shot I have. Still, stranger things have happened.

Who's Reading?

2006-06-16T08:21:00.000-04:00

Who of you is reading Heart of Darkness? I know for sure that Kizz is - and that she's ready to start talking about the first 40 or so pages - but I don't know who else is participating in this little discussion group. If you're "in," 'fess up and let me know how far you've read...

Well....CRAP!

2006-06-16T07:17:00.000-04:00

I finally got in touch with the principal of LHS this morning. I decided to try the seven-a.m., call-before-the-day-gets-started tactic and, lo and behold, he actually answered his phone!

He didn't have good news for me, though; they decided to go with the other candidate. He was very kind about it in what I felt was a genuine way - I didn't get the whole "it was a very deep pool" bullshit that I got from the principal of my internship school - LHS's principal explained that they were genuinely torn by their decision and that he would keep all of my contact information in case something unexpected opens up.

I'm disappointed, but less so because I more than half expected this to happen. CT assures me that something will come - "good teachers get jobs," she says. I'm not so sure - our market for English teachers is pretty saturated at the moment - but I'm going to keep letting the Universe know that I'm still here and still want to work.

Thank you all so much for waiting this out with me! It was easier knowing I have you all behind me!

Playing Cat and Mouse

2006-06-15T16:50:00.000-04:00

So, there was some action on the job front today, but it never amounted to anything...

I came home from assisting in a sign language class this morning to find my answering machine blinking. One of the messages was from (gasp!) the principal of LHS!! I immediately called him back and got his secretary, who put me through to....

...HIS VOICE MAIL!!! (grrrr!)

I left a peppy message: "HI! It's Mrs. Chili returning your call - TAG! You're IT!! I'll be in and out all day, so you can either try me at home or on my cell..." and left both numbers.

When I came back this afternoon, there were no new messages from Mr. Principal. I called again, just because, well, I can't stand it anymore, and got the secretary again. She told me to wait a second and put me on hold. Then she came back, asked my name again, and put me on hold. When she came back this time, she told me that he was with a parent and could he call me back.

I was with WeedWoman at the time and, while all this was happening, she was standing there, waving her arms in front of her and whispering "If it's Mrs. Chili, tell her I'm NOT HERE!!!" I'm not sure she was too far off.

So, that's all the news that's fit to print. When we finally DO talk in person, you'll be the next to know.

My Thoughts, Exactly

2006-06-12T18:01:00.000-04:00

Seems to be a good day for Calvin here at Chez Chili, huh?

Should I, or Shouldn't I?

2006-06-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

I STILL haven't heard anything from LHS.

Here's my question - should I call them to find out what's going on, or should I just continue to wait quietly? I've gotten two varying opinions on this - CT says "CALL THEM" and Bowyer says "just wait it out." Honestly, I could go either way.

What do YOU think I should do?

(author's note: I did. I ended up getting dumped to voice mail where I left a little message. Here's hoping someone calls me tomorrow...)